I heard a cactus fell in love with a fruit tree.
They make a prickly pear.
I met a beautiful cactus today, so I told it, " you're looking sharp today ".
" I'm just a cactus " , it said. " You have a point there ", I replied.
What do you call a cow in a cactus field?
Holy cow.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing,
but I can’t put my finger on it.
Whats the difference between a daisy and a cactus?
One is a plain flower, the other is a self-raising flower!
What do you call a cactus that lives on Sesame Street?
Prickle me Elmo
I ran into my enemy named cactus the other day
What a prick
Why did the cactus cross the road?
Because it was stuck to the chicken.
Even in school, I never understood the cactus.
I mean, what's the point?
I fell into a cactus.
I'm making sure to pay attention more sharply next time.
Your family tree must be a cactus ...
... because everyone on it is a prick
This cat trying to blend in as a cactus. In other words a catcus [OC]
My wife’s name is Vera. Every morning I wake up and say “Cactus..!!!!”
Well it’s quicker than saying “‘Allo Vera...!”
I took an arts class specializing on cactus photography. It was a thorny subject.
Two balloons are floating through the air. One balloon says to the other, “watch out for that cactus!”
The other balloon says, “what cactusssssssssssssssssssssssssssss”
Cactus Farmers Shouldn't Be Parents
They're only good at raising pricks.
What is the difference between a boy and a girl cactus?
A boy cactus has one spike more.
Edit: Fixed wording
Did I tell you guys about the extremely rude cactus I met the other day?
He was a real prick.
This group of kids ambushed me and pushed me into a cactus.
Those little pricks.
What did the cactus wear to the job interview?
A cactie
Where did the cactus go for an abortion?
Plant Parenthood.
I think there’s something wrong with the cactus I’m growing.
But I can’t put my finger on it!
Why did the cactus cross the road ?
It was stuck on the chickens butt.
