It was a gloomy day for a funeral. The widow weeped quietly in the front row. A distinguished gentleman approached her and said "Ma'am, I'm so sorry for your loss. Would you mind if I said a word?" "Please do", she replied. He stands, straightens his tie, and says "Plethora." Then he sits down. "Thank you," she said.
"That means a lot."
C'mon he is right there in the middle !
I said, c'mon man... *lady
It’s ok if you haven’t, the decision is still up in the air.
Roof roof roof
Britney is a really common name and yet we don't have many puns for the name.
C'mon guys show some creativity and come up with puns for Britney.
Write any pun you know.
The bartender says, “what’s up with that?” The pirate says, “Arrrrrr it’s driving me nuts!”
To get to the dark side.
Today a student of mine was wearing a Pikachu onesie for pajama day at work (a junior in h.s.).our conversation went like this. If she wasn't in anime club with me I would have left her alone.
Me: did your wear that so guys would want to take a peek-at-chu?
Student : Mrs. Acinomismonica, please stop
Me: why? You scared they won't choose you?
Student : I'm going to stop talking to you now
Me: don't be such an Ash
Student : Mrs. Acinomismonica, you need to stop!
Me: c'mon student, you gotta Ketchum to my jokes
Enter the rest of my class groaning, it was a good day. Good thing I stopped before they threw Brocks at me.
... and I was like, "Ohm my god!"
C'mon guys, it's a dead giveaway!
If you want to sterilize
It's a wedge issue.
C'mon mane
Me: "Hey Dad, what's in the box?"
Dad: "That box? Nah that's just a box of trash! I found it on the side of the road!"
Me: "Really! C'mon Dad, whatcha get?"
Dad: "I'm telling you, it's a box of trash!"
My dad has never failed to use this line any time he gets that mysterious white box of baked goods (be it crumb cake, donuts, or cinnamon buns), and it's never failed to make me run immediately to the box to see what was really in it.
I was working the register (took a pity shift in the front end department) when I ran out of pennies. I paged my boss to come over and get me change.
Boss: Look, you have a penny on your POS, and I have one in my pocket here.
Me: That may not last very long, can I still get change?
Customer: C'mon man, cut the guy a break. He's just putting in his 2 cents on the situation.
His daughter groaned.
Car is up on a jack stand in friend's backyard and sits down to remove some bolts from the front driver side brake assembly. I happened to notice some dog poop on the ground next to him
Me: Hey bro watch out!
Friend: What? What?!
Me: Theres poop right there and your about to sit down on it. C'mon bro, you do not want people to think you're about to do a shitty job.
