Brandish Puns

A list of puns related to "Brandish"

A cannibal was walking through the jungle when he came to a clearing and saw a freshly killed elephant lying down with a pygmy standing on top of it, brandishing a big stick and doing a victory dance.

"Have you just killed that elephant?" asked the cannibal. "Yes," replied the pygmy, "I did it with my club." "Wow," replied the cannibal. "You must have a really big club!" "Yes, there are about forty of us!"

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/Scout816
📅︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Almost got stabbed to bring you this one...

My wife was working on a green bean casserole and couldn't find one of the ingredients.

Wife: Have you seen the can of fried onions?

Me: What does it look like?

Wife: White container, red writing.

Me [Feigning hopeful tones]: Little red writing?

Wife [Relieved]: Yeah!

Me: ...hood?

Wife brandishes knife.

👍︎ 49
💬︎
👤︎ u/chaosTechnician
📅︎ Nov 26 2015
🚨︎ report
Got on on the wife this morning doing yard work

Was trimming a palm tree this morning and a piece came flying down at my wife and she said did you see how close that got to me, I turned at her from my perched position on the ladder with a huge smile and replied 'oh I saw' as I brandished my rusty saw, quite proudly.

👍︎ 7
💬︎
👤︎ u/theedeacon
📅︎ Apr 19 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.