Who does Orlando Bloom credit for all of his success?

No one, he’s an elf made man

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrymmTravel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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How can you tell the difference between flowers that bloom in the day and flowers that bloom in the night?

The difference is day and night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/will_it_skillet
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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Springtime is almost here, the flowers are beginning to bloom and my alergies are going crazy....

That's snot good.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oddiseeus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
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Puns are blooming all over this garden....Like a cat fight between a dandelion and tiger lily...

Oops...A Daisy

https://preview.redd.it/wxa25n2a58c51.png?width=2478&format=png&auto=webp&s=8e61299d08db7234a2776473a1ad3c254e04ee80

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πŸ‘€︎ u/l17charlie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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What do you get if you cross a flightless bird with a flower?

Penguin Bloom!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DecIsMuchJuvenile
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
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My wife was upset that I did not buy her flowers !!!!

Goddamnit !!! She never told me she sold flowers !!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hypermails
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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A viking named Rudolph The Red was looking out his window one day

"Its going to rain soon" he said to his wife. "How could you possibly know that?" She asked. He simply replied, "Because Rudolph The Red knows rain, dear."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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My bloomed flower is talking to my unbloomed flowers...

It's saying "Hey buds."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/linkhandford
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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What's a bumblebee's favorite celebrity

Orlando Bloom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/k8lin70
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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The first five florists I called today knew absolutely nothing about laying carpet or tile.

And suddenly I’m the idiot....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arkham_Asylum27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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Business is blooming
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πŸ‘€︎ u/girlseekstribe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2017
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I can't think of a good flower pun right now...

Thistle have to do.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
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Our local florist recently expanded to take in the shop space next door.

Business must really be blooming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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Anyone ever hear about Bruce Lee’s vegan brother?

Brocc Lee never bloomed like Bruce.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kranolta-Killer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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Can't wait for summer, had enough of this...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inspiringlondon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
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Just saw the star of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend preform in London for the first and (maybe) only time.

It was a 'once in Bloom moon' experience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkiingOtter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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My 10 year old stood a few feet away from me and asked... Dad? How far away is a stud?

...my mind raced with punchlines of the β€œabout this far” variety. I tried a few on for size.

Then I realized he was looking distraught and realized I was potentially stomping on his blooming dad-joke career. So I stopped and said: β€œI don’t know son, how far?”

He still looked confused, and then I realized that he for real thought a β€œstud” was a measure of distance and this was a legit question. So I had to transition into google searching images of wall framing and what studs are. What a roller coaster of dad emotions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cid73
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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MISSION IMPUNSIBLE

Reddit, I need your collective minds to create puns based on a certain word, which is below. The pun that Reddit and I both enjoy most will be broadcasted for the world to see. Have fun!

WORD: Flour

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ctrexrhino
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2017
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A young woman runs a science experiment.

Once, there was a young woman who wanted to do a little psychological experiment. So she carefully bred cherry trees to bloom in multiple colors, and arranged to have them planted such that the trees of one color would spell out the name of some other color. You know, to test the Stroop effect.

However, the instructions (which were, admittedly, odd) weren't transmitted to the workers (all starving underpaid grad students) effectively, so the groups of various colored cherry trees were planted such that the colors matched the names, completely invalidating her experiment.

She's now the Stroop drupe group blooper girl, Stroop drupe blooper girl, Stroop drupe blooper girl...

She now focuses on Anglo-Saxon royalty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/derleth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2016
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FIL jokes

While driving around Florida looking for go cart racing.

Me: Hey there's a dollar tree FIL: Any money blooming?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nowthatsthespirit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2016
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My sister and I both get our sense of humor from our dad. She got me with this text the other night.

Sister: Sometimes I make jokes that only you would appreciate to the full extent

Me: Same.

Sister: This car came pulling out of a place real fast before stopping and the guys driving kind of looked like POTC Orlando Bloom. So naturally he [her boyfriend] said "Woah, Orlando bloom" and I said "Yeah you better calm down before you Orlando yourself in a bad spot"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nanon0324
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2017
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My dad was doing a crossword puzzle yesterday.....

Dad: hmmmm, I'm stuck on a clue

Me: bet I can help

Dad: ok, 4 across, the clue is overladen postman

Me: how many letters?

Dad: a blooming sack full

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bazabbo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2017
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Wife said, "Look at that pirate tree..."

I said, "Why is that a pirate tree?" She said, "Because of all de-blooms."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFifthStep
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2017
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Someone told me they met their wife at a garden store they both worked at.

"I've heard love really blooms there."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnFoxpoint
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2014
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Dad joked client

My client was showing off her budding fringe tree and said "The blooms come out and then the tree leaves" I said "Where does it go?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rudderusa
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2015
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Oh God...

I was talking to my dad just now about the legend of St George. He said, jokingly, that the knight did slay a dragon and I retorted with.

"Yeah, and allegedly a rose bloomed out of its blood,"

His reply? "Yup, allegendly,"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/inguaz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2015
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My wife is upset because I never buy her flowers.

To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SerbianTarHeel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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