My 8 year old sons joke today. Whatβs a girls favorite unit of measurement?
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︎ Apr 15 2021
What unit of measure do pirates use?
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︎ Apr 04 2021
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. Nurse asked the rabbit what his blood type is
He replied " I am probably a Type O"
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︎ Mar 18 2021
A pastor, a priest, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank, and the nurse asks what blood type they are.
The rabbit says, βIβm probably a Type-Oβ
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︎ Apr 16 2021
What do you call Batman's blood vessels?
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︎ May 02 2021
Why did the potato cough up blood?
Because it had tuber-culosis
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︎ May 05 2021
A priest, A Baptist minister, and a rabbit go into a red cross to donate blood. The nurse asks "What is your blood type"?
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O"
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︎ Mar 06 2021
Today I found out that you can actually hear the blood flowing through your veins.
You just have to listen varicosely.
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︎ Jan 24 2021
What do you call a tree that sucks blood?
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︎ Apr 17 2021
How do you measure a kingβs foot?
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︎ Apr 17 2021
How do potatoes measure their speed?
The spudometer, of course.
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︎ Apr 10 2021
Did you hear about the blood transfusion?
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︎ May 10 2021
My doctor just diagnosed me with very low blood pressure.
He prescribed two IKEA self assembly wardrobes.
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︎ Mar 10 2019
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type
As he died, he kept insisting "be positive", but it's hard without him.
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︎ Oct 21 2020
originally posted on r/tumblr by u/MaetelofLaMetal
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︎ Apr 26 2021
My dad always told me to "Measure twice, cut once"...
One day he measured once but cut twice and lost his job as a Rabbi.
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︎ Mar 31 2021
How do you determine the mass of a red hot chili pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
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︎ Apr 25 2021
I went to donate blood and the clinician asked, βWould you like to lay down?β
I told them I was inclined to it.
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︎ Apr 29 2021
Lil Nas X sold his sole to make these nike shoes with a drop of human blood
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︎ Mar 28 2021
Jehovah's Witness favourite band.
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︎ Apr 20 2021
My doctor says I have acute high blood pressure
Iβm just glad itβs not ugly
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︎ Oct 05 2018
Sherlock and Watson arrived on the scene of a murder and the only clue was a measuring tape pulled out to exactly 12 inches.
Apparently something was afoot.
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︎ Feb 23 2021
It is rumored that the worst secretaries have typo blood.
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︎ Feb 20 2021
What Do You Call a Russian with Low Blood/Oxygen Content?
Hammer and Sickle Cell Anemic!
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︎ Apr 18 2021
I went for an interview. They said, βCan you perform under pressure?β
I said βIβm not sure about that but I can have a good crack at Bohemian Rhapsodyβ
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︎ Nov 17 2020
I feel strong peel pressure when all my friends start eating bananas.
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︎ Feb 05 2021
How do you measure the heaviness of a 2.4 million Scoville chilli pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
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︎ Feb 02 2021
A scientist discovered the null blood type (type 0) in 1901
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︎ Apr 06 2021
What do bloods call their guns?
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︎ Mar 21 2021
My uncle died last week because the doctors couldn't figure out his blood type.
At least my uncle was being supportive as he kept on yelling, "Be positive!"
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︎ Feb 13 2021
What blood type does an optimist have?
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︎ Mar 21 2021
Why can't electronics hobbyists measure voltage?
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︎ Feb 05 2021
What is the cannibal carpenterβs favorite measurement?
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︎ Oct 24 2020
How do you measure the power of love?
In jewels
It's an engineering joke
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︎ Feb 24 2021
A red blood cell was travelling through the bloodstream...
It bumped into another cell and screamed "Jesus Christ!!" God was not happy, he said "You should never use the Lords name in vein."
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︎ Mar 17 2021
My grandfather died because the report said he had Type A blood.
Unfortunately it was a Type-O.
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︎ Jan 07 2021
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walked into a blood donation clinic
The nurse asked the rabbit: "what is your blood type?"
"I'm probably a type O" said the rabbit.
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︎ May 07 2021
A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.
The nurse asked the rabbit: "What's your blood type?"
"I'm probably a Type O", said the rabbit.
π︎ 2k
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︎ Mar 16 2021
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walked in to a blood donation clinic.
The nurse asked the rabbit: "What is your blood type?"
"I am probably a type O" said the rabbit.
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︎ Apr 03 2021
My doctor just diagnosed me with extremely low blood pressure.
His prescription for me is to assemble two IKEA wardrobes.
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︎ Apr 19 2019
A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a blood donor centre...
The nurse asks the rabbit what blood type he is.
The rabbit replies "I think I'm a type O"
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︎ Apr 11 2021
I live by my blood type
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︎ Apr 21 2021
Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?
You just have to listen varicosely
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︎ Nov 09 2020
Priest, vicar and rabbit go to give blood.
Dr β what blood type are you rabbit?β
To which the rabbit replies,
Rabbit β probably a Type-Oβ
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︎ Mar 22 2021
Whatβs a monkβs favorite unit of measurement?
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︎ Dec 20 2020
A monk, a priest, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
Rabbit says βI think Iβm a type Oβ
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︎ Apr 07 2021
How do you measure shoes?
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︎ Mar 16 2021
My blood test result said my blood type was type A
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︎ Mar 16 2021
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