In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.
They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
She just really needed a shoulder to crayon
Black eyed peas can sing us a song and chickpeas can only hummus one.
Imma Be
Because Batman always protects goth-ham
A Zebra
Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal
That was before they met Chuck Norris.
The story is long ,bear with me
His doc said not to worry, it was just an optical contusion.
The mortician asked the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out the man looks good in the black suit he’s already wearing. The widow however said she thought her husband always looked his best in blue, and she would really like him in a blue suit. She then hands the mortician a blank cheque and says “I don’t care how much it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.” The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe. Remarkably, the suit fit him perfectly. She says to the mortician, “whatever this costs I’m very satisfied, you did an excellent job and I’m incredibly grateful. How much did you spend?” To her astonishment the mortician presents her with her blank cheque, and he says “there’s no charge.” Shocked she replies “no really, I feel like i must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit.” “Honestly ma’am”, the mortician says, “it costs nothing, you see a diseased gentleman about your husbands size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday. He was wearing an attractive blue suit. So I asked his wife if she minded if her husband went to the grave wearing black. She had said it made no difference so long as he looked nice. So from that point on it was really just a matter of switching the heads.”
Hebrews it
My dad made this joke and I cant stop thinking about it please dun hurt me XD
Because it was a spy-der
Osmoses
You might say he japanned his china.
Hebrews it
I replied, "He's a real Chad."
A Wokemon.
The difference is like night and day.
Fo drizzle
I don't know son, but your ma might.
Stolen from: Dad Jokes
Because Batman is sworn to protect Goth Ham
The doctors think I might have Corvid.
I'm sure that must have been a record
Interracial porn is great
An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of whiskey.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender: “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says: “Before you tell that joke, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know four things: The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat, the bouncer is a blonde girl with a club, I’m a 6-foot tall blonde woman with a black belt in karate and the woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?”
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters: “No, not if I’m gonna have to explain it four times.”
I have been challenged to a dad joke face off. I need at least 20 dad jokes that will make someone laugh before I do to win a tournament. Give me your best!
The Israelite has 1/3 fewer calories.
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
A Zebra.
But chick peas can only hummus one.
but the chickpeas can only hummus one.
the Chick Peas can only humm us one!
But the chick peas can only hummus one
But the Chickpeas can only hummus a tune.
