Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).

In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BillyBob_TX
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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"Amen" is from Hebrew. /r/Christianity/comments/โ€ฆ
๐Ÿ‘︎ 30
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Jay-ay
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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Why does Allah make the best beer? Because Hebrewโ€™s it himself
๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Hungyboy21
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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I just illegally downloaded the first five books of the Hebrew scripture.

It was a Torahnt.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 49
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/smellmyheart
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
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My friend asked me why I'm learning Hebrew

I told him"If I were learning a dead language, I'd be Latin you down."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/doggodoggodo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A girl messed up her recitation in Hebrew school today

I torah a new one.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Pimpedoutbarby
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you get when you o-PRESS Hebrews?
๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/shavedclean
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 07 2013
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does Moses make tea?

Hebrews it!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 919
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/clkish1988
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does Jesus make coffee?

Hebrews it

๐Ÿ‘︎ 103
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/icemage27
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does a Jewish person make tea?

Hebrews it

๐Ÿ‘︎ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Duckay_washere
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why are Jewish men so good at making beer...

... because hebrew

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/stayhomedaddy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didnโ€™t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/communist_scumbag
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What's the difference between karate and judo?

Karate is a method of self defense, while judo is what bagels are made from.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/scarletnumberzz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I met a Jewish barista the other day...

Hebrew.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BrainDevelopment
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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Did you know that Prophet Moses invented beer?

Hebrew

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MrQuester
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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My friend told me he was Jewish.

I was like, โ€œNo way!โ€ And he was like, โ€œYahweh.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/zephyrcoco
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
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Who led the Jewish people across a semi-permeable membrane?

Os-Moses.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do you tell others that your Israeli boyfriend made coffee?

Hebrew.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/athulkishan
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 18 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How did Moses make his tea in the morning?

Hebrewed it.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kickypie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was having an argument with my wife about who should brew the coffee each morning. She said, โ€œYOU should do it because YOU get up first and then we won't have to wait as long to get our coffee.โ€

I went full sexist pig, โ€œYOU'RE in charge of cooking around here woman and YOU should do it, because it's YOUR job and I can just wait for my coffee.โ€

She replied coldly, โ€œNo, YOU should do it and besides, it's in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.โ€

I guffawed, โ€œI canโ€™t believe that, show me!โ€

So she fetched the Bible and opened to the New Testament and showed me the top of several pages, that it indeed says, โ€œHEBREWS!โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
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I just had the most manly craft beer at my Israeli restaurant.

It was called He-Brew.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/proborc
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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Can you believe it says in the Bible that men should make their wifeโ€™s coffee everyday?

Yup, itโ€™s right there in Hebrews.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 1k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/scorchedgoat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does an Israeli make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SoleilDJade
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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How does Moses make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 45
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TylerDurdenSEA
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does Moses make coffee?

Hebrews it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 86
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Merlin-5
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does the Rabbi make his tea?

Hebrews it

๐Ÿ‘︎ 29
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/xtilexx
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does Jesus make his Coffee?

Hebrews it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 581
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/icemage27
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it

๐Ÿ‘︎ 62
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sexybeast8209
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Do you know how Moses makes his coffee?

Do you know how Moses makes his coffee?

Hebrews it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/reconize35
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do you think Moses makes his tea?

Hebrews it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/THOT_Patroller-13
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
You do realize that it's biblically correct for a man to make the coffee. Haven't you ever read the book,

Hebrews

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mastiff_Speed
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didnโ€™t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does Moses make tea?

Hebrews it

๐Ÿ‘︎ 469
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ksol88
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What does a Jewish barista do at his cafe?

Hebrew

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RedForkKnife
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My son asked me where cold brew was first made

I said Chillicothe

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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When my girlfriend told the room that she was going to make coffee her dad said, โ€œno, in the Bible, it says that the man always makes the coffee...โ€

Havenโ€™t you read Hebrews?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bulbasaur_King
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does Moses make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SkumbagKira
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does Moses make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 70
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/betchhxx
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How did Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MrBlack2388
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does a Jewish man make coffee?

Hebrews it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 59
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Tru-Queer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 42
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Lord_Aarsh
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 30 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does Moses make coffee?

Hebrews it!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Nord-The-Axolotl
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does Jesus make tea?

Hebrews it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RayInRed
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 78
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Josvys
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does the Jewish man get his coffee?

Hebrews it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HeccinSpud
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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