My New year's resolution is to stop binge eating Xmas leftovers...
I'm going to quit cold turkey.
*me binge eating Christmas treats*
Jesus Christ what have you done to me!
I need a suggestion of a good medical sitcom to binge on Netflix....
But I don’t want no Scrubs
I just finished binge-watching an entire series on NetFlix or whatever it is!
It was a documentary on doing things in moderation.
Mike Tyson got very disturbed after binge watching “Breaking Bad”.
He said, “That was pretty methed up.”
We had just finished binge watching 'Stranger Things' ...
and were walking up stairs to go to bed, when this exchange took place:
GF: "Whoa, there's a tv remote all the way over here on the stairs, isn't that weird?"
Me: "Meh, I've seen stranger things."
GF: "Oh my god, STOP!" it got an eye roll and chuckle out of her though.
The radio was on the classical station during a Star Trek binge.
Hubby got me during a Netflix binge...
Hubby: We should put the TV on the floor.
Me: Why?
Hubby: So you can watch Friends in low places!
He was so proud...
So you're Binge Reading?
This was to my younger sister.
Me: "what are you reading?"
Her: she holds up her book and the spine says "Binge"
Me: "So you're Binge reading?"
And she rolled her eyes harder than I've ever seen.
Why did Microsoft named its search engine "BING"
Because It's Not Google...
I was replaying Wind Waker recently after having binged BNHA, and the idea popped into my head.
Mi me chiama JAR JAR BINGS...
Today I found out that you can actually hear the blood flowing through your veins.
You just have to listen varicosely.
If Bing Crosby was so great
Imagine how good Google Crosby would have been?
My local karaoke bar has just banned all Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Bing Crosby songs …
to prevent the spread of the crooner virus.
This morning, after a long night of binging, I got out of bed and looked in the mirror. I saw my haggard, worn-out body and overcome with emotion I realised that for the sake of my family I had to quit cold turkey.
Dad: what do you do when you are in the wrong seat?
Started singing like a cross between Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra.
Think I may have caught this croonervirus.
I went to go shopping for cherries and microphones the other day. Bought a bing, bought a boom.
I'd like to personally thank the inventor of the mini skirt...
My balls have never felt so free.
I have only two new years resolutions this year. One: get back to the weight I was before the accident.
Two: stop referring to last year's junk food binge as 'the accident'
Bowie and Bing Crosby meet up in heaven…
David Bowie: "You look a bit down in the dumps, Bing. What's wrong?"
Bing Crosby: "my inflatable arsehole needs blown up."
Bowie: "Do you want to borrow my rubber bum pump?"
Bing: "Rubber bum pump?"
Bowie: "Rubber bum pump."
Did you know Bing Crosby gave David Bowie a pom pom for Christmas?
And not just any old pom pom but a proper pom pom!
What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when your nailing them! Bada Bing!
I want the normal one too! (Op u/ItsSrikerOMG)
Went to the store yesterday and bought a single cherry and some microphone equipment
Bought-a-Bing, Bought-a-boom
I took my new gun to the range to try it out, but somehow it won’t work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
If I was a journalist, I'd ask a lot of pro bing questions.
Like "Isn't Google the worst search engine?"
Dad : “I need to call the doctor today.” Mom : “Which doctor?”
Dad : “No, the regular kind.”
What’s the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney?
Bing sings but Walt Disney.
EDIT: to avoid some possible confusion I’ve changed ‘and’ to ‘but’.
Chandler Bing really is the master of dad jokes.
While at a tailor's,
"How long do you want the cuffs?"
"Well at least for as long as I have the pants."
I went shopping at a cherry stand and then a microphone store.
Bought a Bing. Bought a boom.
I just caught my son googling porn web sites, and I’m completely heartbroken.
We are strictly a Bing family.
My dad saw the Google car...
My wife said to me,” you wanna box for your leftovers?”
I replied,”no, but I’ll wrestle you for them.”
My last joke got taken down.
Why. 😂
I ate a clock, it was very time consuming. Especially when I went back for seconds.
What does a Clock do when hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
Credits to Cortana (or Bing)
I went to go shopping for cherries and microphones the other day: bought a bing, bought a boom.
I said to my wife, "I need to call the doctor today."
"Which doctor?" she asked.
"No, the regular kind."
Sometimes, my wife makes it *too* easy.
"I need to call the doctor today."
"Which doctor?"
"No, the regular kind."
I went shopping for cherries and a microphone the other day...
Bought a bing. Bought a boom.
Went shopping for a cherry and a microphone...
Bought a bing,
Bought a boom..
Purchased a cherry and a microphone
Bought a bing, bought a boom
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