Hooker Furniture
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/meow__meg
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Guess the letters after D and Y.

I bet it’ll be EZ.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PieFullOfPizzas
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I opened a book and counted the average value of how many times the letters A to M appear in each page of the book. After getting the results, I threw them away.

They are only means to an N.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I got a letter saying I had to pay an overdue exorcist bill.

They said if I didn't, my house would be repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2016
🚨︎ report
I just found that the letters β€˜t’ and β€˜g’ are too close to each other on the keyboard.

I’m never again writing Regards when I write an email to my boss.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I bet you $19182919727 that you didn't read that number.

I bet you didn't notice I put a letter in there either.

You just checked. You now realized there is no letter.

You also didn't realise I replaced the 'L' in 'letter' with an 'I'.

And now you realised that I didn't.

Have a nice day and enjoy.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EternalClickbait
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Local dad writes letter to my local newspaper...

I bet he makes this joke every time he references classical music... http://i.imgur.com/7nT06MT.png

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChuqTas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2015
🚨︎ report
FIL May just be my new favourite person

Doing a crossword yesterday with FIL, MIL & GIL.
FIL says "Hey did you know I completed The Times crossword the other day apart from one clue" (For those of you who don't know The Times crossword is like one of the hardest crosswords)
MIL: "Go on then tell me the clue, I bet I'll work it out"
FIL: "Ok, the clue was "Heavily laden postman"
MIL: "How many letters?"
FIL: "Hundreds and Hundreds I would imagine"

Dead

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Megpuss
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2016
🚨︎ report
My dad was doing a crossword puzzle yesterday.....

Dad: hmmmm, I'm stuck on a clue

Me: bet I can help

Dad: ok, 4 across, the clue is overladen postman

Me: how many letters?

Dad: a blooming sack full

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bazabbo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Father in law on fire this Sunday afternoon

Doing a crossword with my father in law and mother in law. He told me that he completed The Times crossword (which is apparently one of the hardest crosswords) the other day all except one clue. Mother in law says "go on then darling tell me the clue I bet I'll work it out" He says the clue is "heavily laden postman" She says "how many letters" He says "hundreds and hundreds I should think" Dead

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/megpuss21
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2016
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.