Can we agree to stop hating on bassists?

They don't want any treble.

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👤︎ u/thehenkan
📅︎ Jun 01 2014
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Did you hear about the tuba player and the bassist who broke up?

Their relationship really ended on a low-note.

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📅︎ Aug 03 2018
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What do you say when there's a singer, guitarist, bassist, and a drummer in a boat?

Abandon ship!

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👤︎ u/low_kix
📅︎ Sep 03 2017
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Why should you raise your kids to be bassists?

So they'll stay out of treble.

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👤︎ u/Scradam
📅︎ Aug 12 2014
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If law enforcement officers were called to the apartment of a female bassist in response to a noise complaint, there would be sheriffs because she riffs.
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👤︎ u/ManLeader
📅︎ Feb 22 2014
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I once knew this guy who hated all high-range instruments.

He was a huge bassist.

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📅︎ Nov 27 2020
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The best pun I ever made, true story:

I had recently joined a band as their bassist, whose previous bassist was very punny and also had a long beard like me.

I had made some unmemorable pun, and the guitarist said, "Goddamn it, puns must be related to beards."

I said, "With great length comes greatest pun ability."

Swear to god this is true. Only two people witnessed it. I want you all to be my witnesses.

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📅︎ Jan 06 2020
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My boss said that an outdoor concert was fine this fourth of July celebration despite the forecast f rain...

Just so I cover all the bassists.

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📅︎ Feb 16 2020
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A group of fishermen were trying to form a band

UnforTUNAtely they didn't find a BASSist

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👤︎ u/Ledin542
📅︎ Jan 08 2020
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What do you call someone who hates perches?

A bassist

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📅︎ Jul 01 2019
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Which instruments have a bad potty mouth?

The perCUSSion

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📅︎ Oct 25 2018
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Did you guys hear, the musician Sting was kidnapped...

The Police has no leads.

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📅︎ Oct 15 2014
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I never liked playing high notes.

I guess I am a bassist.

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📅︎ Feb 13 2017
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So I was at band practice today...

And my bassist/vocalist was asking what we thought about a song we were just writing. So I took my hands off the strings and let them start making noise on their own, as I was standing directly in front of my amp. When he looked at me, confused as I was just staring at him, I finally broke the silence: "I'm giving you feedback."

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👤︎ u/LeDudicus
📅︎ Nov 21 2014
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What do you call a donkey leg in the desert?

A hot piece of ass.

Per my bassist. Yes he is actually a dad.

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👤︎ u/duck_cakes
📅︎ Nov 12 2015
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My singer got me with this groaner...

So after band practice, we have to shove everything back into my horribly shaped trunk (coupe). So my bassists amp is stuck, and singer is just watching us try to pull it out.

"Guess we really JAMMED it in there"

...

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📅︎ Jan 15 2016
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Told my dad about /r/dadjokes...

I was on the phone with my dad tonight and telling him about this subreddit in response to something he had said. He started spouting jokes at me like rapid fire.

Dad: You know what would happen if the bassist from Led Zeppelin went on tour with the drummer of the Beatles?

Me: I dunn-....

Dad: They'd be John Paul Jones & Ringo!! You know who the hillbilly was that discovered the Beatles?

Me: Who?

Dad: Buddy Epstein [Buddy Ebsen/Brian Epstein]!!! Who was the first Beatle to orbit the earth three times?

Me: Oh, my God...John Glennon?

Dad: See? You should post those to your forum! These are all winners, here!

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📅︎ Oct 27 2013
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