I finally saw the new Justice League movie but when the heroes ended up in a funky little shack down the Atlanta highway, I was confused at first.

It was the Fred Schneider cut. Oops!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/logansworth
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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I put an Atlanta hat on my periodic table.

I’m not afraid to brave the elements.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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Traffic ticket in Atlanta

Watch out while driving through Atlanta, Ga. I hit a seagull, it flipped off my windshield and hit the cop car behind me. He pulled me over and ticketed me.

Whatever you do, don't flip the bird to the cops in Georgia.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flaspike
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2015
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I was making my way through Atlanta airport the other day when I noticed a man working on a broken escalator...

As I descended down the adjacent, working escalator I noticed the man tapping his screwdriver impatiently at the bottom; looking around as if he were waiting for something. I couldn't resist...

>Me: "Do you have everything you need to fix it?"
>
>Him: "No!" <looking frustrated>
>
>Me: "Well, have you tried escalating?!"

In about half a second the man's face erupted in a smile while he proceeded to laugh so loudly that he startled himself and a woman nearby who gasped, turning to look at him. Somewhere behind me a woman unleashed a loud, "Ha!" as well.

I smiled all the way to my designated boarding gate =D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/riskable
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
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Atlanta Names Tunnel-Boring Machine β€œDriller Mike” After Killer Mike stereogum.com/1900475/atl…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealCalypso
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2016
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My dad on the recent weather in Atlanta imgur.com/Gr3gztI
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YoungNeil38
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2013
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Arriving at Anime Weekend Atlanta

Pull up. See some Death Note cosplayers walking into the building. Suddenly hear dad as we exit the car, "YEAH! GO BUSINESSMAN!"

Goddammit, dad. Just let this whole place know you don't belong here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IronicallyMature
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2013
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While talking about the teachers in Atlanta, GA going to jail...

...for cheating on tests. The wife's aunt/uncles were all giving their opinions.

Uncle: They're going to jail for like 5 years! I think they should have just lost their jobs.

Me: Yea, I agree. And also make them register as...test offenders!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whatthedamnhell98
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2015
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-Bro, where you at?

-I'm at Lanta!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Le_Banditorito
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
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What do you call a city full of overweight people?

Obese City

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
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The world's most dangerous pun?

I had to fly from Atlanta to Chicago yesterday.

After I just gone through the security checkpoint and was putting my belt back on and all the other crap from that plastic tub they make you run through the scanner, I handed it back to one of the TSA agents and told him he should not carry too many of those at once.

Why?

Because he'd be Bin Laden.

He laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimMarch
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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The story of Kenneth Lamar Noid

The following story is true.

Perhaps you have heard of The Noid. He was a character created by Domino's Pizza to act as a villain who would attempt to make your pizza taste crappy due to lack of freshness. Thankfully, according to Domino's, The Noid could easily be foiled by their 30 minute delivery guarantee.

On January 30, 1989, a man by the name of Kenneth Lamar Noid took the creation of the little guy as a personal attack on his character. Not one to take such a slight lying down, Mr. Noid took a Domino's location in Atlanta hostage, forcing them to make a special pizza and salad against their will. His demands included $100,000, getaway transportation, and a copy of the hit science fiction novel, "The Widow's Son".

Eventually, Mr. Noid surrendered to the police. After the incident, when reached for comment about Mr. Noid, Police Chief Reed Miller was quoted as saying, "He's paranoid."

Thank you for your time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/salty904
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
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Technology Dad Joke

I'm in Atlanta with my girlfriend this weekend, and we are heading to the Lenox Mall. We were discussing the temperature and if we needed jackets, and I said "I wonder if they have Windows."

Took her awhile.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keith2154
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2016
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My dad is keeping light during Georgia's latest winter storm.

Georgia/Atlanta is expecting a big ice storm tonight/tomorrow. As I got off work, my dad texts me with weather conditions in a nearby town.

Dad: Did you hear they have ice in Cedartown?

Me: Already?

Dad: It's $1.79 a bag.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WacktheMedic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2014
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