They kicked me out of art school when my sculpture didn't work out as planned.

I reached my statue of limitations.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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Why was Hitler rejected from art school?

They did nazi his artistic talent

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/realsuperguy199
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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Me: I love going to art school! My wife: you can’t go any more!

Me : but that’s where I draw the line

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/allanon101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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My cousin's middle school student drew this in her art class
πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MagicalBear202
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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So a sensei or β€˜teacher’ at a martial arts school brings a bowl of crispy wontons to class.

He sets it on a plinth and tells the students they’re free to take a couple after class is over. Halfway through teaching the senpai or sensei’s assistant approaches and tells him he has an important phone call. He tells the class to find a partner and practice. He comes back fifteen minutes later and the plinth is knocked over, the bowl is in pieces and the wontons crushed and scattered about. He is dismayed that his students would engage in such sensei-less wonton destruction.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Igrotzny
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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Why did Dracula get kicked out of art school?

He could only draw blood.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stephydude
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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If Metallica went to the Jim Henson school of Arts and Media...

Would they graduate with a Master of Puppets?

(Kudos to my brother for this one.)

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GIFman2000
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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I wanted to learn some martial arts, so googled Ninja School.

Said β€œthis site could not be found”.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/guineaworm88
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
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I had a feeling my school art teacher was a bit shady..

...he was super sketchy and always felt tips..

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whysoseriousmofo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2018
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Not a dad joke, but my high school art teacher

I always had his class right after lunch and would often be a little late because of traffic and whatever. Every time someone was late a second time he would say. " that's your second tardy; you know what that makes you?" "Retardy" his delivery was always with a straight face and then he would laugh.

πŸ‘︎ 174
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brownboy83
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2013
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Dad is visiting me at art school

We pass a theatre called the Hanes Brand Theatre. My dad says "The Hanes Brand Theatre? What do they do there?" "What does it sound like they do, dad..." "It sounds like that's where you go to watch brief plays."

MFW: http://imgur.com/eTVdRwu

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAmNottaRobot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2014
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SO texted me from art school

Her: Ohhhhh my god some girl is spreading cream cheese on her bagel with her finger.

Me: For a school project? This performance art thing is getting out of hand.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hobaartron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2014
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Joking around with my cousin who's in school as an art major in college, got her good.

She me a picture of herself with black charcoal all over her hands and face from working on one of her projects.

Her: Art school life is rough.

Me: What class, coal mining?

Her: Yeah.

Me: So you're an art major coal minor?

Her: (rolls eyes and tries not laugh)

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deanelganger
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2014
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Frozen Dad joke

I am currently working at an art camp for kids in elementary school. It's mainly girls and they all love frozen. When they behave well do their work we put on music. Today I gave in and tried to put on the sound track but the computer froze so I said "it's frozen... Literally." No laughter and lots of whining. Asked one of my coworkers what to do and he said just leave it alone and don't worry about it. To which I replied "so I should just let it go?." I received a slow clap from my coworkers.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shmellooo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2014
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Did you hear about the Band Director who got fired and started a car towing company?

He called it Stuck Auto.

It was a huge success and he found time to focus on his passion for martial arts founding a new school based on starting slow and building up speed. It's called Crush En Do.

It was most noticeably used by a section of the terrorist organization in the United States Capitol. They're known as the D.C. Al Coda.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rannak
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
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A beautiful tradition

Martial arts is as much spiritual training as it is physical training. In fact, there is a school of martial arts in Korea where practitioners would spend large portions of the day just meditating.

As they train their spirits to ponder over their place in the universe, the practitioners would also train their bodies to forgo the needs of the physical world. The practitioners would endure days on end without sleep, and live on a single loaf of bread for an entire month.

As they meditate, they would repeat the mantra: β€œI am one with the universe, it sleeps not so I shall not sleep. This bread is my only worldly attachment but I shall only TAKE ONE DOUGH”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charlemagnalpaca
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
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Dad dropped this one while watching O Brother, Where Art Thou.

We were watching the movie O Brother, Where Art Thou. I asked "Hey dad, do you know what extradition is?" Dad: "Is that something we used to do?"

Everyone just stared at him with the look of disgust while he giggled like a little school girl.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tylermm23
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2013
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Overheard this wonderful conversation

An older man and older woman were walking past the art department at my school. They talked about art for a bit, then the woman nudged the man and said "I bet you have an artistic side."

He said "yeah, I can draw flies."

And he waits. They walk a few more paces. "I don't shower very often."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IcedBanana
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2015
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Dad Joked my cousin's girlfriend last night

My cousin's girlfriend (CGF) is a primary school teacher and last night we were discussing her class size and the subjects she teaches.

Me: "How big are the classes you teach"

CGF: "ive got 28 in english and maths, 30 in science and 28 in topics"

Me: "What on earth is topics?"

CGF: "oh its stuff like history, R.S, Art, Geography and all that stuff"

Me (With the biggest grin on my face holding back laughter): "OH, THE HUMANITIES"

my girlfreind and CGF groan, me and cousin laugh and high five.

Sidenote. My couisn is one of the biggest dad jokers ive ever met, so he really apreciated the terrible joke.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skin969
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2014
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Why do phlebotomists go to art school?

So that they could learn how to draw blood.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LoveCheeze
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Bouncer: "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Me: "Why?"

Bouncer: "I have no idea who you are and this is my trampoline."

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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