The Swedish Armada started painting barcodes on the side of their ships.

That way when they are at port they can Scandinavian.

👍︎ 30
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm a street performer at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival. I tell punny jokes there, thought you'd enjoy them.

The King is in love with the Spanish Armada, in fact you could say he warships it.

I got into a fight with a group of jesters, I escaped by going for the juggler.

I recently read "Gulliver's Travels" it was a Swift read.

Have you read the book about traveling through hell? It's a Dante-ing read.

Q: How many animals can you fight into the Lord High Sheriff's tights? A: Ten piggies, two calves, a rooster and an ass.

Vikings raided the royal cheese supply, they left nothing behind but de Brie.

I met a wizard, I told him he looked like a mana action.

The unskilled mason forget to put a water supply in the new castle. He did not keep well.

The angry archer was so surly he had everyone convinced he was a cross bowman.

The failed stone cutter also lost his job as a bounty hunter. He could never find his quarry.

The nun kept spilling sacramental wine on herself. She made a bad habit of it.

The pope enjoys chocolate on his boat. He like sailing indulgences.

The pope loves summer, they say he is infallible.

Two fae fell in love. They keep fauning over each other.

The knight suffered from boils, he had to get them lanced.

Why did the wood nymph use some much lotion? Because she had dryad skin.

👍︎ 37
💬︎
👤︎ u/kbdekker
📅︎ Sep 09 2016
🚨︎ report
[request] Boat puns?

Decorating a cardboard boat tomorrow (made it today) and thinking of covering it with different puns. The name shall be Admiralable Saboateur if I go this route, but I'm not sure how to incorporate it all together to make it a theme. I also thought of Aquadisiac and "Are you my armama?" but I'm not sure if the crowd would get the armada reference either. Any boat puns are appreciated!

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Aug 24 2017
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked my professor in an email.

My seminar professor emails us, "No BioPsych today guys. We are interviewing 2017 people."

(she's referring to students in Sophomore graduating year who are applying for this concentration)

I respond in my email, "Wow 2017 people! That's practically the size of the entire student body! Good luck!" (we have a small campus)

Can I be a dad yet?

👍︎ 27
💬︎
👤︎ u/freedan12
📅︎ Mar 19 2015
🚨︎ report
I was playing as Spain in Europa Universalis

Decided to name my fleet Armada Options as I had very little to do

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/grayworks
📅︎ Oct 08 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.