T-o-d-a-y
Boom
The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"
Because they got lost at C!
What’s Kraken!!!!
T H A T
The other day I told them I was going to do an imitation of Batman, so I started off with:
"Argh… kryptonite, getting weaker…"
"THAT'S SUPERMAN!" a student in the back row yelled
"Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot", I replied.
You'd think it's argh! but it's the SEA, matey!
Your nose.
They captained the USS Argh!
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
Argh, I don’t know, but it’s been drivin me nuts all day
He thought it might be argh-mageddon.
the bartender said "you know you have your ships steering wheel in your pants?" the pirate replied "argh matey, i know its driving me nuts"
...with a full-sized ship's steering wheel attached to the zipper of his pants.
The bartender says, "There's a steering wheel attached to your zipper, doesn't that bother you?"
The pirate replies, "Argh, it's driving me nuts."
He was at "argh!" for too long
It was rated Argh.
He didn’t want to benign.
Son: Fruit? What kind and why? Me:Some Chemis fruit. Son: Chemis fruit? I've never heard of that. Me: It grows off the Chemis Tree. Son: Argh
This is the latest joke making its way around our house. My kids started it — I swear. And I’ve perpetuated it. Much to their dismay.
Typical exchange, usually around the table:
Kid: “I’m hungry.” Me: “I’m Dad. Nice to meet you, hungry.” Kid: “ARGH! I’m serious.” Me: “well, I’m still Dad, Serious.” Kid: (Thoroughly annoyed.) “Can I be excused.” Me: “Well, I’d prefer you stay Serious. If you’re not Hungry, though, you may leave the table.”
Popped one on my daughters today, received with blank stares.
I was passing a large piece of scrambled egg over.
Egg crumbles and falls off the fork.
Daughter:argh it fell off!
Me: yeah it had poor int.egg.rity
#Tumbleweed
My pen was running out so I said "Argh, my pen is dying!". He leaned over and said "Don't forget to give it its last writes...". Dammit.
Wife: Kids! Come down for dinner!
4yo: Dad, I'm hungry.
Me [pauses for dramatic effect because we all know it's happening]: Hi, Hungry... I'm Dad.
4yo: NO! I'm not Hungry!
Me: Oh, ok. Honey, 4yo isn't hungry.
Wife: He doesn't want dinner?
4yo: No. I am hungry.
Me: Oh hi, Hungry, I'm Dad.
4yo: ARGH!!!!!!
7yo: Ugh. Just ignore him, 4yo.
Me and 2 7 year olds (one my daughter's brother): boy 1:What's your last name? Me: (say last name) boy 2: Spell it. Me: "I-T" Boy 1: "Nooooo spell your last name." Me: "Y-O-U-R L-A-S-T N-A-M-E" both boys: Argh! Boy 1: Ok what's your last name. Me: (say last name) Boy 1: Spell that. Me: "T-H-A-T" Boy 2: Noooo spell your last naaaaame. Me: "Y-O-U-R L-A-S-T N-A-A-A-A-M-E" Boy 1: Ok, say your last name Me: Your last name. Boy 1: noooooo say your last name Me: Your last name.
I kept them going for a good 5 minutes before they figured out "spell (my last name)" Quite amusing.
edit: second time I misspelled the title. It's supposed to say "this was fun"
Him: "Ask what's-his-name to do it."
Me: "Who?"
Him: "Argh, his name is on the tip of my tongue."
Me (leaning in, looking at his mouth): "I don't see anything."
So A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch. Bartender says "oh my god, there's a steering wheel on your crotch!" The pirate says "Argh, it's drivin me nuts!"
