I showed up late to the Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting.

Needless to say, all the seats were already taken.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call alcoholics anonymous in Canada?

Eh eh

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the hardest part in joining Hypochondriacs Anonymous?

Admitting you don’t have a problem.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous.

I see a few new faces this week and I must say I’m disappointed.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThaCrimsonChinn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the local Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting last night

but all the seats were taken.

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Welcome to plastic surgery anonymous.

I'm seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd tonight and I just have to say I'm really disappointed

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I've just got back from Schizophrenics Anonymous.

I can't wait to tell myself all about it.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Funny 'Dads Anonymous' story to share for the holiday weekend.

"Welcome everyone to Dads Anonymous. Again my name is Bill and you will notice that we have a new member, please welcome Gary -- Can you tell us what brought you to us today?"

"Well I have a very embarrassing confession. It's even hard to get the words out."

Bill reassures him, "We are all dads here and have been meeting for decades, we've been through all the highs and lows, births and deaths, tragedies, we've heard it all. Just tell us what's on your mind son, we are here to support each other."

"Well, a couple months ago, I broke both my legs in a motorcycle accident and couldn't walk, so I let my wife use the lawnmower." He says through the sobs...

Bob, one of the other dads, starts to get pale. "...and she didn't even cut it in a crisp geometric pattern, it was just random..." Bob starts to sweat and get dry heaves. "YOU BASTARD", he screams. "HOW COULD YOU LET THAT HAPPEN." The dads rise and get ready to beat the crap out of Gary, when Bill stands between them and breaks it up.

"Guys! Guys, we all get weak sometimes and things happen outside our control. Doug, you remember when you were in recovering from Chemo and you gave your wife a hammer, and she used it to hammer a roofing nail into the drywall to hang a picture!" Doug, looks down in shame, "Yes, that was a bad day, I was so weak. She missed the stud and left a dent in the wall, and she just hung the picture over it, crooked!" There was dead silence. "Thats ok Doug, it was twenty years ago, you were young and foolish, you can let it go". Then all the dads shook hands and sat back down.

Bill starts the meeting up again. Then Gary says, "..theres one more thing, Right after I got out of the hospital, she wanted to make a special dinner for us, so I let her grill the steaks..." "OH LORD THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" screams Dave, another dad, his face turning red. Gary continues "...she burnt them one one side and they were dry and chewy." Now there is a bedlam, one dad immediately passes out cold, chairs are thrown, broken bottles, Gary is on the ground being kicked in the ribs. After a few tense minutes Bill managed to get the dads off of Gary. "Stop it, Dave you're killing him. Come on, you remember that time you let your wife go to the repair shop for an oil change?" Dave hung his head, and muttered yeah. "They convinced her to change the cabin filter, wiper blades and the radiator collant..." Bill kept prodding "and, aaand" ...Dave broke down, "and she bought a jug of blinker fluid!" T

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm going out with a group of friends from OCD anonymous tonight.

Things aren't gonna get messy.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I forgot to go to Hypochondriacs Anonymous today.

I bet it's early-onset Alzheimer's.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
It is a very little known fact that Boy George has an anonymous Reddit account

You might say he is a karma chameleon

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œOil on canvas”——Anonymous Artist, circa 21st century.
πŸ‘︎ 209
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
β€œOil on Canvas.”—- Anonymous Artist, circa 21st century.
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an anonymous internet creep?

Torpedo.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pdxp2b
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I've joined Alcoholics Anonymous.

I now drink under a different name.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to gamblers anonymous the other day.

They gave me 2-to-1 odds I wouldn’t make it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Candidates for the president of the Evolution Society said that the anonymous votes were fudged...

But the committee assured them it was just natural selection!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I just got kicked out of Hypochondriacs Anonymous.

I just couldn’t admit I didn’t have a problem.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œHello Police, I would like to leave an anonymous tip.”

Dispatcher: Go ahead.

Man: Vaccinations don’t cause autism.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
The Russian people anxiously awaited the results of their anonymous election...

Sorry, not Czar E.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IO_you_new_socks
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2017
🚨︎ report
I am not with alcoholics anonymous

but something synonymous to alcoholic

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SeeWhatEyeSee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Say what you want about the group Anonymous, they've written some beautiful poetry over the years.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RyanRebalkin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
So I would have had my procrastinators anonymous meeting tomorrow

But they keep putting it off

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QXander
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to Premature Ejaculators Anonymous but nobody was there.

I guess I came too soon.

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hasoon004
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2014
🚨︎ report
β€œHelloβ€”police? Can I leave an anonymous tip?”

Dispatcher: Sure. Go ahead.

Me: Flossing prevents tooth decay.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
🚨︎ report
After 40 years, I met my long lost twin brother at a Gamblers Anonymous meeting last night...

What are the odds!!

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2017
🚨︎ report
I went to an appleholics anonymous meeting

It was a fruitless endeavor.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snowinspired
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2016
🚨︎ report
Went to my first meeting tonight of claustrophobia addicts anonymous.

It was a packed house.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous.

I see a few new faces here this week and I must say I am very disappointed.

πŸ‘︎ 135
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NYRion7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I showed up late to the Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting.

Needless to say, all the seats were already taken.

πŸ‘︎ 134
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous.

I see a few new faces here this week and I must say I am very disappointed.

πŸ‘︎ 435
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iateaps4
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Hypochondriacs anonymous

Step#1 admitting you don't have a problem.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I showed up at the weekly Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting...

...but all the seats were already taken.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous.

I see a few new faces here this week and I must say I am very disappointed.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CulturedGrass
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I showed up late to last night's meeting of Kleptomaniacs Anonymous.

All of the seats were already taken.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Welcome to plastic surgery addiction anonymous

I'm seeing a lot of new faces this week, and I have to say I'm disappointed.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/4mouldyoranges
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I showed up at the weekly Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting...

...but all the seats were already taken.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous

I see a few new faces here this week and I must say that I'm disappointed.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mo_Stache_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous

I'm seeing a lot of new faces here in the crowd this week and I have to say I am very disappointed.

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DemonMango
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous

I see a few new faces here this week and I must say I am very disappointed

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DallasDomino0806
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous!

I see we have a lot of new faces this week.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I just got kicked out of Hypochondriacs Anonymous.

I had a hard time admitting I didn’t have a problem.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous. I see a few new faces here this week and I must say I’m disappointed.
πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/frenzy3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I just went to a Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous meet up...

and boy, did I see a lot of new faces!

πŸ‘︎ 190
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tosil
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous.

I see alot of new faces today.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordDobbington
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
🚨︎ report
The hardest part of being in Hypochondriacs Anonymous

is admitting you don’t have a problem.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
🚨︎ report

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