Andover, Hampshire Puns

JellyCow99 arrives at Beech Hurst Park, Andover, trowel in hand and carrying a pot of small, bright flowers, and succulents. He’s followed by a crowd of volunteers, two of whom break away to stick a “Vote JellyCow99 for Hampshire North!” banner across the front of the park, facing the road. A few more start setting up a BBQ whilst everybody else, JellyCow99 included, starts to prepare the ground. As they progress, a reporter for the local paper approaches him.

“Local, community events like these are some of the most important things for the general public to get involved with. Planting this garden and holding this BBQ gets more people to visit Beech Hurst Park, and participate in some of the great activities here, like the miniature railway!”

“Recently in Andover, two community schemes received funding from the borough council - the Big Band Buffet, and the Intervention, Communication, Education scheme. Both of these target very different vulnerable community groups, but both are vital to ensuring the general wellbeing of the population of Andover and the rest of Test Valley.”

“The Big Band Buffet works with older residents to bring them together and create a more united community. Just last month, they held a booked-out dinner with music right here in Andover, thanks to money received from the local council.”

“The ICE scheme works with young people who have mental health issues to bring a little joy to their lives. Over a hundred young people have already been helped by the scheme, which has had them learn instruments, write songs, and choreograph dance pieces.”

More and more people begin turning up, digging into the ground and planting the flowers and succulents. The community goes to work on trimming down the bushes, cleaning up debris from the overhanging trees alongside the general work. Soon, the bustle attracts the general public, and a sizeable crowd starts to listen in, grabbing food from the BBQ.

“In government, I’d love to support local initiatives like the Big Band Buffet and ICE scheme. The more people who get involved, the more they succeed. Look at this garden! Everybody here is a member of this wonderful community, all uniting together to liven up this patch of earth and mark Beech Hurst Park a better place. Years from now, and long after I retire, this garden will still be here, reminding all who see it of the power of community engagement.”

*Once the garden is planted, the area looks a lot livelier. JellyCow99 rounds out the

In the city of Andover, JellyCow was seen braving the snow to knock on doors and shovel driveways.

JellyCow: Hello! I’m your Labour candidate for your area. Who are you going to be voting for in this election?

Man: Oh, good afternoon. I’ll be voting Conservative, like always.

JellyCow: Well, have you heard anything from the Conservative candidate this election?

Man: /u/vogon1? He had his campaign launch, right? That can’t be it though.

JellyCow: Nope, that’s all he’s done. I, however, have given a speech down in Basingstoke, spoke to students at Queen Mary’s College, and had interview on local radio! Today, I’ve been speaking to people around the neighbourhood, shovelling people’s drives and promoting our platform.

Man: Well, that’s lovely! I’m not convinced, though.

JellyCow: Oh, why is that?

Man: I’m quite the environmentalist, you see, and I’m not sure that Labour would do any better than the Tories are.

JellyCow: Well, that’s where you’re wrong. While there’ll be much more information in our excellent manifesto, we’ve pledged to support clean forms of power, fund the creation of a multitude of environmental projects, and create a ‘Blue New Deal’, which is a concept that would improve the livelihood of coastal communities.

Man: Really? Well, I’m certainly interested. I’ll have a look through the manifesto tonight, and if that info is good you have my vote!

JellyCow: Great! I’m counting on you! Now, I’ll just shovel your drive for you, and be on my way. Thanks for taking this country in A New Direction!

Man: No, thank you!

JellyCow proceeds to shovel the drive, neatly piling the snow, before moving onto the next house. This continues until it gets dark.

Unexpected bills have left me really short, just looking to borrow some money for food and travel to work. I will pay interest back. I haven't borrowed on here before but if you want to know anything just ask.

Hello, I am a DM in need of more players to join a weekly session in the Andover area.

Long shot, but anyone from Andover Hampshire know any pubs that will be showing Europa Final?

I am a 20y/o guitarist and singer from Basingstoke currently in a band of layabouts looking for some more serious musicians who want to meet up and practice regularly so we can actually do some gigs, rather than chill and play the music once a month casually. It's fine if other people want to do that but it's really not what I'm looking to do. The style I play is trippy psychedelic/alternative rock with influences in the blues, the jazzy grateful dead bluegrass kind of stuff, raw and post punk music and folk.

I am a skilled writer and always bouncing with ideas for new material but unfortunately don't yet have any decent recording software to make a demo of the music I've written so I can show you my style. Ideally looking for as many dedicated musicians as possible and perhaps certain members of the band I'm in now may get a kick up the ass and play with us again when they see how you should really go about being in a band if you want it to be successful. So, preferably I would love to make music with people who can lead by example and know what they're doing to an extent.

I don't want to come off as if I'm a super serious bossy person from this post, I just needed to make it clear that I'm not looking for slackers, I'm pretty chill really, if a little bit of an outsider in real life but what musician isn't? :) At the end of the day this has to be fun for everyone involved and we have to get along well, so it's been hard for me so far to find the right people even though I have been looking for years. That's mainly due to my location and musical influences too I guess. It's very frustrating but I'm doing everything I can right now to get a band going.

About the music, I am willing to start fresh or we can pull from my/your repertoire of songs and go from there but I should mention that I have some pretty out there ideas lyrically and had solid plans for around 3 albums of music so far with the band I'm currently in. Also, I am very much interested in conceptual albums that tell a story both with the music and lyrics. I write music every day so I'm happy to go with the spirit of the psych/garage genre and just DIY the whole creative process.

Bands I like would be most 60s psychedelia, early Rolling stones with Brian Jones, Dylan, The Brian Jonestown Massacre, Dead Meadow, Grateful Dead, Bowie, Echo and the Bunnymen, Pink Floyd, Syd Barrett, King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard, Thee Oh Sees, Ty Segall, Radio Moscow, Holy Wave, Dead Skeletons, Joy Divis

Race Information

• Name: Test Way 50
• Date: 13 November 2021
• Distance: 52 miles
• Location: Hampshire UK
• Time: 08:36:51

Goals

Splits

Background

This race was supposed to be run back in April but Covid meant that it was rescheduled a few times. The course runs along the length of the river Test in Hampshire (UK), starting in the hills just North of Andover, and rolling down to the Solent in Southampton. The path itself is just over 44 miles, so there's a loop of the hills at its source added to bring it up over 50 miles. There's two concurrent races - 44 miles and 50 miles (for those who want to do the extra loop).

Living not too far from the Southampton end of the river, I've run many sections of this course, so thought it would be fun to try and do it end-to-end in one go.

Training

I ran the London Marathon in early October. The rescheduling meant that this race fell a little too soon after for my liking. I tried to defer but left it too late, so thought I'd see if I could coast in from my London training which had been in the 50-70 mpw range.

I had 7 weeks to prepare. I needed 1 week to properly recover from London and at least 2 weeks to taper, so that left 4 weeks to try and get some decent weekly mileage and some long runs in.

I managed two 50+ weeks, and two 70+ weeks, with back-to-back-to-back long trail runs in the last two weeks. maxing out at 27 miles for my final long run. This all went OK. I finished the training block with no injuries and about as confident as I could be, although I felt that another week's training and an extra week's taper would have been welcome.

Pre-race

I know from experience that an empty stomach on the trails really kills me, so I've learned to graze almost constantly as I run. This meant I spent the night before packaging up so much food to carry with me: bags of banana chips, dried mango, buttery mashed potato, seaweed, and a massive bunch of gels.

I had an endless debate about which shoes to wear. The trails are really well kept gravel, there's a bunch of road sections and the weather had been pretty dry, so I was tempted to try it in my Ghosts, reasoning that cushioning would be welcome in

Not sure how to do image and text as I'm still new to reddit. I have two girls I need to rehome. I'm moving to uni soon and am struggling with money so I need the girls to go somewhere they can be looked after properly.

The girls are bonded, one is a miniature lionhead, she is grey with some white fluff around the face and neck, she is around 4 years old. The other is a brown/golden ish colour, she's a lionhead lop mix, and she's around 2 or 3 years old

The grey one is molly and the gold one is cinammon. Neither are spayed or vaxxed (due to mentioned money issues) and neither have had any health concerns. They are both mostly litter trained, big fans of broccoli and cabbage, also the meadow rings yiu can buy in most pet stores (science selective I believe)

They come with a hutch that I have put lino in and run (I don't believe it fits minimum space requirement however)

For both plus the cage and run I'd ask for maybe £50 For just the rabbits I'd ask £30/35? Willing to negotiate.

I am located in Andover Hampshire. Can deliver for a small fee or for free if you're in the town. Collection otherwise.

Thank you in advance, just want the best for my girls and I can't give them that

SCHOOL NAME, MASCOT, ABBREVIATION, CONFERENCE, PRIMARY HEX COLOR, SECONDARY HEX COLOR, PRESTIGE, HOME STATE, PIPELINE STATES (separated by .); Brockton, Boxers, BROCKT, Division 1, 000000, FF0000, 90, MA, MA; Lawrence, Spartans, LAWREN, Division 1, FF0000, 0000FF, 90, MA, MA; Lowell, Red Raiders, LOWELL, Division 1, 800000, 808080, 90, MA, MA; Taunton, Tigers, TAUNTO, Division 1, 000000, FF8C00, 90, MA, MA; Boston Latin School, Wolfpack, BOLASC, Division 1, 800080, FFFFFF, 90, MA, MA; Greater Lowell Tech, Gryphons, GRLOTE, Division 1, 0000FF, FFD700, 90, MA, MA; Lexington, Minutemen, LEXING, Division 1, 0000FF, FFD700, 90, MA, MA; Framingham, Flyers, FRAMIN, Division 1, 000080, FFFFFF, 90, MA, MA; Greater New Bedford, Bears, GRNEBE, Division 1, 008000, FFD700, 90, MA, MA; Newton North, Tigers, NEWNOR, Division 1, FF8C00, 000000, 90, MA, MA; Wachusett, Mountaineers, WACHUS, Division 1, 008000, FFFFFF, 90, MA, MA; BMC Durfee, Hilltoppers, BMCDUR, Division 1, FF0000, 000000, 90, MA, MA; Brookline, Warriors, BROOKL, Division 1, FF0000, 0000FF, 90, MA, MA; Springfield Central, Golden Eagles, SPRCEN, Division 1, 000000, FFD700, 90, MA, MA; Revere, Patriots, REVERE, Division 1, FF0000, FFFFFF, 90, MA, MA; Everett, Crimson Tide, EVERET, Division 1, 800000, FFD700, 90, MA, MA; Cambridge Rindge, Falcons, CAMRIN, Division 2, 808080, 000000, 88, MA, MA; New Bedford, Whalers, NEWBED, Division 2, FF0000, FFFFFF, 88, MA, MA; Methuen, Rangers, METHUE, Division 2, 0000FF, FFFFFF, 88, MA, MA; Weymouth, Wildcats, WEYMOU, Division 2, 800000, FFD700, 88, MA, MA; Newton South, Lions, NEWSOU, Division 2, 0000FF, FF8C00, 88, MA, MA; Barnstable, Red Hawks, BARNST, Division 2, FF0000, FFFFFF, 88, MA, MA; Haverhill, Hillies, HAVERH, Division 2, 8B4513, FFD700, 88, MA, MA; Shrewsbury, Colonials, SHREWS, Division 2, 000080, FFD700, 88, MA, MA; Acton-Boxborough, Colonials, ACTBOX, Division 2, 0000FF, FFD700, 88, MA, MA; Malden, Golden Tornados, MALDEN, Division 2, 0000FF, FFD700, 88, MA, MA; Braintree, Wamps, BRAINT, Division 2, 0000FF, FFFFFF, 88, MA, MA; Franklin, Panthers, FRANKL, Division 2, 0000FF, FFFFFF, 88, MA, MA; Andover, Golden Warriors, ANDOVE, Division 2, 000080, FFD700, 88, MA, MA; Boston Latin Academy, Dragons, BOLAAC, Division 2, 000000, FFD700, 88, MA, MA; Natick, Redhawks, NATICK, Division 2, FF0000, 0000FF, 88, MA, MA;

Lynn English, Bulldogs, LYNENG, Division 2, 800000, 808080, 88, MA, MA; Westford Academy, Ghosts, WESACA, Division 3, 800000, 808080, 86, MA, MA; Att

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Buenosdillas