I need help coming up with a Punny female alternative to "Man Cave" for my girlfriend.

I am building a room for my GF to have a sanctuary to herself and I want to make her a stupid little hanging sign for the door and she loves a good joke. So the best alternative I came up with to "man cave" was Cooter Cavern, but I wanted to see what magic Reddit could come up with. Whatcha got?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/qbergeron648
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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Have you heard about the alternative education now offered to children of the Canadian national police force?

Mounty Sorry Schools.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thickerstill8
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2022
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I met a couple of bugs who were so disgusted by the city's infrastructure they decided to found a company that repairs alternative routes. I asked "what are you going to call this service?"

Two Bee Detour Mend

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sattoth
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2022
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Alternative Title: We're hair to talk reddit.com/user/redditads…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Confused_Blue_Jay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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An Alternative To Trump's Wall
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πŸ‘€︎ u/douglasses2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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I want my brand to become THE dairy alternative for the post truth era.

The people believe in Fake Moos.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/themiracy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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An alternative... was that A'Tuin was crawling from the Birthplace to the Time of Mating. When they arrived they would briefly and passionately mate, for the first and only time, and from that fiery union new turtles would be born to carry a new pattern of worlds.

This was known as the Big Bang hypothesis.

Joke by Terry Pratchett, β€˜The Colour of Magic’, Prologue.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WatashiStickKid
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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My wife asked me if there was an interesting alternative to using nails or screws as fasteners.

I told her yes... and it's riveting.

πŸ‘︎ 157
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeyRobot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2017
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An alternative to dormant volcano reddit.com/r/CrazyIdeas/c…
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DBrownGames
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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Though not a perfect solution, cryogenic storage could be an alternative to capital punishment.

It has it’s frozen cons.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MotoFuzzle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
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Best alternative to roflcopter imgur.com/a/FQTzq
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fieryeskimo351
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2016
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Do You know what they call alternative medicine that has been proven to work via research, experimentation, and double-blind clinical trials?

Regular medicine.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeowMixSong
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2017
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If Republicans try to push through a bill related to the keystone pipeline, they should call it the Gasoline Alternative Source act

Because I want to hear a news anchor say "Today republicans tried to pass G.A.S., but Obama blocked the move with a veto."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notiesitdies
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2014
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My daughter: Catching on to both dad jokes and great 90's alternative music!

We were listening to Pearl Jam's "Alive" in the car this evening. She pipes up out of nowhere:

"Q: What does Eddie Vedder wear to bed?"

"A: Pearl Jammies"

She's 12. I'm proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doubletwist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
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Alternatives to Rock, Paper, Scissors

Clock - Vapor - Wizards

  • The Clock reminds Wizards that they too shall pass
  • Vapor voids the Clock's guarantee
  • Wizards control Vapor

Wok - Baker - Snickers

  • The Wok deep fries the Snickers
  • The Baker inventories the Wok
  • Snickers repulses the Baker

Frock - Rapier - Strippers

  • The Frock covers the Rapier
  • The Rapier stabs Strippers
  • Strippers take off the Frock

The hand signs are up to your imagination!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/akurgo
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2022
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I bought a new gaming console, but it keeps wanting to alternate between the top and bottom shelves of my entertainment center.

I guess that's what I get for buying a Switch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SolWishing12
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2022
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I tried to talk to a fellow pilot about alternate universes

But she didn't understand as she seemed to be operating on a wholly different plane to mine

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Redditardus
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2022
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So God was talking to one of his Angels. He said β€œI’ve created 24 hours of alternating lightness and darkness in earth”. The Angel said β€œWhat are you going to do now?” ...

β€œOh I think I’ll call it a day” God replies.

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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British MPs were like my toddler at dinner time during Brexit

They always want to delay.

It was made very clear that being sent to bed, with no meal, was not an option. But they said no to every alternative put on the table.

Going back to Brussel sprouts was a waste of time.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2022
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An alternate world where it's illegal to make or even touch puns. Punsmiths are protesting against this.

There's a pun crying to be made here, but I can't put my finger on it.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buttsecks42069
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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In an alternate universe, instead of asking for whatever he touches to be gold, Midas just asked for his jokes to be made extremely hilarious.

Everything was comedy gold.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrammerTheGamer
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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Our friends Ian and Greg are not talking to each other, so we alternately invite them to our social events.

We are on a Greg or Ian calendar.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
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My goldfish named Nate died.

So, to not make my kids sad, I bought another goldfish. He was an alternate.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Artisticspawm
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
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Professor dint have this planned

Me: I am planning to start a cider business She: any alternative plans if it doesn't work out? Me: I haven't decidered yet!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WetSoggyTaco
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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What is the best shape to catch a Power Ranger with?

A trapezord.

Alternatively, the best shape to catch a homeless crustacean doctor is a trapezoidburg.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/overachievingogre
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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A short essay on the benefits of beating the shit out of each other β€” A satirical essay based on a single, overplayed pun

In my opinion we should beat the shit out of constipated people because:

  1. Laxatives are an unhealthy way of dealing with feces. On the other hand, beating the shit out of someone is a good way to practice sports activities like, running, grip strength, punching techniques etc.

  2. Other methods of dealing with feces take alot of money. Laxatives aren't cheap in our flawed healthcare system! On the other hand, there are people that are willing to pay you to beat the shit out of you. By using this method you can become richer and deal with your shitty problems.

  3. Constipation requires being in the bathroom for a long time. This can be very lonely for the people involved. However, beating the shit out of others can be done in any place. Your home, the local park, or even the shady street corner! Not only that it's a very social activity, requiring a minimum of at least 2 people, but usually done in groups of 2-5 people.

Although some people might say, that beating the shit out of each other is violent, most of them have never been to a public toilet and hence are unable to realize how much more painful and violent the alternative is.

In summery, beating the shit out of people is a good, legitimate, and affordable alternative to laxatives and is a better, more progressive way, to deal with constipation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a5paperblank
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A List of Puns (and other excuses for good humor)

Me: You got the goods?

Dealer: I have an alloy of iron and carbon for only $1.

Me: My, what a steel!

Guy: Hey, wanna hear my joke?

Boxer: I dunno, man. People always say I ruin their punchline.

Teacher: What are the four components of DNA?

Student: Actually, there are five: Adenine, cytosine, guanine, thymine--

Teacher: Oh? And the fifth one?

Student: I got I got I got I got...

Me (metric): Why does America use the imperial system? It's stupid.

Friend (imperial): Actually, other places use the imperial system.

Me: Which other places?

Friend: The Galactic Empire.

Guy: I hate spam.

Me: I like sushi.

Me: I like sushi.

Me: I like sushi.

...

Someone: Son of a gun...

Someone Else: Now you've just pistoled me off!

Okay, I know these are not the greatest puns ever, but this is my first post in this subreddit. Anyway, now here are the explanations:

Joke 1 - An alloy of carbon and iron is popularly referred to as steel, and stainless steel costs $2.41, in which the item receives a 58.51% reduction in cost, which is a mighty bargain, also known as a steal.

Joke 2 - Boxing is a sport in which your only goal is to knock your opponent out through a series of punches. The ending or twist of a joke is commonly referred to as the punchline of said joke.

Joke 3 - Check out Kendrick Lamar's DNA song.

Joke 4 - Troops and personnel of the Galactic Empire from Star Wars are commonly referred to as the Imperials.

Joke 5 - Spam musubi, or just spam, is a type of sushi. On the internet, spam is referred to as the repetition of a specific message, especially when emailing, to annoy or advertise a product/website to someone.

Joke 6 - The phrase, "Son of a gun", is a friendlier alternative to the phrase, "Son of a bitch!" Also, when you annoy someone, that means that you pissed them off, which sounds a bit like "pistoled".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/U2BURR
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Selling marijuana

to put it bluntly, is a high alternative for a budding entrepreneur.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DennBay
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2013
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I will be doing an alcohol-free month...

I guess I'll have to find an alternative to ethanol as a solvent for my capsaicin extractions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toofgib
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
The award for the best dadjokes 2018 goes to...

… u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes

[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]

Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:

January:

  1. Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes

  2. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes

  3. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes

February:

  1. Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes

  2. My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes

  3. When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes

March:

  1. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes

  2. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.

  3. [When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](https://www.reddit.com/r/da

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skormes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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My wife said she needs space to recover.

I suggested she needs to alternate, control and delete.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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I challenged, I failed. Dad triumphs.

My friend asked this on her wall on facebook.

Anyone else suffering from electricity shortage?

Dad: Nope. That would be shocking! Or revolting.

Me: Ohmm...These puns are so ampty..needs to be more electrifying

Dad: OP, Watt??

Dad: The puns are the current thing.

Me: I hope nobody breaks the circuit of these puns.

Dad: Wire you worried about that? They'll just socket to ya!

Me: This is such a Polarity moment. Say Cheese, Brofs SPARK

Dad: Don't be negative. Try alternating. It's not terminal.

Me: You have bested me, You win. #dadjokes too good

The Dad is strong, too strong.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kurizmax
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2014
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My wife and I were talking about starting a family and all the health things you're supposed to do like not eat processed sliced meats. Unfortunately she currently eats a turkey sandwich most days for her lunch.

I told her she better start trying alternatives soon, it's going to be hard to quit eating her current lunch cold turkey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-stormageddon-
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
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Discussion with an Anesthesiologist

This happened verbatim on Tuesday afternoon.

Discussing emergency surgery on my one month old son with the anesthesiologist. I said:

"I hope you have an alternate method for putting him to sleep. He isn't too good at counting back from 100 yet."

While the doctor got a good chuckle out of that my wife dropped her head into her hands and said "dadjokes. It's too soon for that crap."

It is never too soon for dadjokes!

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thonlo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2014
🚨︎ report
The history books got it wrong ... AGAIN

New evidence as been found that in addition to trying to sway public opinion against Tesla's advocacy of alternating current, Edison went so far as to try to criminalize A/C through the courts by claiming public endangerment.

Sounds like he was close to winning, but his own hubris did him in. He tried to assure his victory by attempting to bribe the circuit court judge.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Myntrith
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2015
🚨︎ report
Stolen from a friends Facebook post

OK... so did you ever notice how every time you spend 4 days alone in the woods and you make it out without a scratch or even a mosquito bite, and you're feeling all peaceful and relaxed and at one with the universe, you're not home 20 minutes and unloading the back of your truck when you slam your right shin into the trailer hitch... and amid the flashing white stars around you, your fists clench, your teeth grit, your body tenses and every "mean, nasty and ugly" word you ever read, heard, uttered or even imagined ("Wait... is #*&%#@!!! even a word??? Oh what the heck? It works!") goes tearing through your brain.... and eventually it passes and you keep working, surprised you're not even limping and it doesn't hurt more than it does... and almost an hour later, when you're finished and getting undressed to take your first hot shower in days, you see a lump on your shin the size of Rhode Island... and the first image that pops into your head is John Merrick yelling "I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!!!... in fact, it literally looks like a second knee on your right leg... so you spend the rest of the evening keeping it elevated and icing it on and off, alternating between a blue gel pack and a bag of frozen peas.... and when you go to bed, you keep the gel pack on while you read and then take it off before you go to sleep... and then you wake up around 3AM and decide to check your shin and the swelling has gone down quite a bit... but since you still have several hours before you get up, you decide to ice it again... but the gel pack on the floor is no longer cold so you get up, walk to the kitchen and open the fridge... and after taking a bite of leftover pizza from last night (because... well, you're here and what the heck?), you go into the freezer, grab the bag of frozen peas and take them back to bed with you... but they're all frozen into one big solid ball and well, that won't do... so you lay the bag on the bed to pound it once or twice to break them up, but instead the bag bursts open and suddenly there are frozen peas sprayed all over the bed and rolling onto the floor... and all those words from yesterday come rushing back into your head as you kneel to gather them all up... but suddenly your anger completely vanishes and you can't help laughing to yourself as you think, "gee, I can't remember the last time I pea'd the bed in the middle of the night"???

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Markwittz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2017
🚨︎ report
Why do vampires love to bite necks?

Because they are neck-romancers.

Alternatively: They are in to neck-rophilia.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/etherreal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Man dad-joked newspaper

Source - Pic Abridged version:

A man who dubbed himself Britain's biggest idiot after losing his wife after tattooing a comedy penis on his own leg is hoping to win back her heart by having it lasered off.

Hapless Stuart, 34, of Southsea, Hants, inked the six-and-a-half inch member on his left thigh, so the end pokes out of his boxer shorts.

"After I did it, my wife woke up in the morning screaming, because there was this massive penis poking out of the duvet. And the tattoo on my leg.

"It caused no end of rows, and she's now kicked me out of home. I deserve it, I suppose."

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Retro21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2015
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#Murphyslaw

The unpredictable and nefarious alternate side dish to #Coleslaw

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/grumpy_bob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Every time I give my son a haircut

Me: "Do you like your haircut?"

Son: "Yeah, thanks Dad."

Me: "So you didn't notice the bald spot in the back yet?"

Alternatively, to his sister:

Me: "(He didn't notice the bald spot in the back yet.)"

I feel like such a dad.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/waitingonmyclone
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2015
🚨︎ report
Birthday dadjoked

I remember this one from my toddler years. My b-day is June 14, which happens to be the unknown holiday called Flag Day.

Me: "Daddy, guess what day it is?"

Dad: "Oh, is it the 14^th already? Happy Flag Day son!"

I would get really upset at him every year for that one until I started to get the joke. Alternatively, my mom's birthday happens to be December 25. So you can imagine:

Mom: "Merry Christmas, honey!"

Dad: "Christmas? Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought it was your birthday!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheF0CTOR
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad joke made during a band performance.

My band had a performance yesterday. We have three saxophone players. One of plays only Alto saxophone, one of them alternates between playing Alto, Tenor and Baritone saxophone and the last plays both Tenor and Baritone saxophone.

The second two kept swapping each other's instruments or one of the other saxophones they had in the background. So at one point we had to wait for them to change while the rest of us were all ready to start playing the next song.

So, trying to make it less awkward for the audience I turn to them and I says 'I'm sorry, they're just playing ... Musical Instruments'

There was a collective groan/laugh from the audience and the drummer went ba-dum-tish And the trumpeter gave me a little wah wah wah waaaaaaaaaaaah

I'm still giggling about it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gonnnondorf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2014
🚨︎ report
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, β€œwhat are you going to do now?”

God said, β€œI think I’m going to call it a day.”

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report

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