Alpaca pun for this birthday card please
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Casperoony
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 12 2019
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Movie pitch: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas. Global chaos ensues as the disease wipes out 99% of humanity.

Desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 748
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2020
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How do you know when it’s alpaca time?

The a-llama goes off.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cman_yall
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2021
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The police found a dead alpaca in its apartment.

They ruled it llamacide!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 05 2020
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The world ended when I kissed an alpaca.

It was the alpaca-lips.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 56
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tigreye007
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2019
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Where do Alpacas come from?

Alpacistan

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/joeproductdesign
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2019
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Why did the Pakistani herder switch to Alpacas?

Because Islamabad!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spinmeista_flex
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23 2019
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Beijing customs disallowed my alpaca beanie baby

They thought it was a dolly llama.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gone4011s
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 08 2018
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What's an Alpaca's favorite type of music?

Alpacappella.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/QuadrasaurusFlex
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12 2017
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If alpacas could sing in a group it would be alpacacappella. reddit.com/r/Showerthough…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CrashBandioof420
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2018
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What do you say if you're an alpaca and you laugh your ass off?

Llmao

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AHumanPeople
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2017
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I had a nice photo of an alpaca that I wanted to keep safe...

So I had it llamanated.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Calingaladha
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 17 2016
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Pawesome puns
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/meow__meg
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2021
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I can’t believe I’m being evicted for telling a joke about a llama

I guess alpaca my bags and leave

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/turkyman3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 04 2021
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These could be the titles of two horror movies
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dvarka124
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20 2020
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Did you hear the one about how llamas would cause the end of the world?

It was an alpaca-lypse

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Toku-Nation
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 17 2021
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"You got spat on, you big baby, it's not the end of the world!"

"That's not what I said. I said it was the alpaca lips!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lfantine
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 11 2021
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My wife is kicking me out because she's fed up with my South American animal puns...

'OK,' I said, 'Alpaca my bags.'

πŸ‘οΈŽ 80
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the_houser
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 08 2020
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What did one pot head llama say to the other pot head llama ?

Alpaca bowl for you

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Deuce519
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2020
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What do the vicugna pacos family say when they are about to go on a vacation?

Alpaca bag now.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sherlock_er
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2020
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Prepare yourselves
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mcrlzzle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2018
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Last night, my neighbor got on his tractor and started yelling, β€œThe end is near!!”

I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 20 2018
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Hmm
πŸ‘οΈŽ 102
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/taymct71
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 01 2019
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So we will see
πŸ‘οΈŽ 119
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vtbuijs19
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2018
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So I know of this mall that uses animal employees...

I was walking along the food court when I saw this one animal that was incredibly overdressed compared to the others. While most where in their uniform, this one was in a red and gold robe, and was strangely being followed by a bunch of Buddhist monks.

I asked one of the customers if it was an Alpaca Packer.

They said no.

It's the Deli Llama.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2020
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Peruvian luggage

I treated myself to some leather luggage from Peru.

Alpaca suitcase.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheBearDidLady
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 24 2020
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I met a rancher who told me the apocalypse would soon be upon me.

Moments later an animal kissed me, that’s when I realized he’d said the Alpaca lips would soon be upon me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hephsters
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 17 2020
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Why didn't the border guard allow a llama to enter the country?

hisllamaphobia

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dogbirddog
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2016
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All this talk about llamas are annoying...

Alpaca my bags.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MasterGTLucas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2020
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Pun pet names.

Pets I want to have....

An otter name Harry Otter. A snake named Severus Snake. A tortoise named Voldetort. A chicken named Kylo Hen. A dog named Barkamedes. A deer named David Hasselhoof. A turkey named Green Gobbleen. A cat named Captain Ameowrica. A stork named Tony Stork. A pig named Peter Porker. A crocodile named Croctor Strange. A duck named Ducktor Doom. A squid named Abraham Inkin. A goose named Ryan Gooseling. A heron named Charlize Heron. A goat named Selena Goatmez An alpaca named Alpacachino. A carp name Leonardo Di’Carprio. A tuna named Tuna Turner. A horse named Neighlor Swift. A toad named Demi Lavatoad. A Rhino named Ryan Rhinolds. A swan named Swan Jovi. A Falcon named Jimmy Falcon. A ferret named Ferret Faucet. A rabbit named Hoptimus Prime. A cow named Moolissa McCarthy. A crow named Seth Crowgan. A fox named Charlie Fox. A cat named Katy Purry. A wolf named Howly Berry. A hamster named Scarlet Johamster. A parrot named Squakin Phoenix. A duck named DuckleBerry Finn. A canary named Jim Canary. A swarm of bees, all named BeeyoncΓ©. A sheep named Meryl Sheep. An elk named Elkton John. A bear named Teddy Mercury. A ram named Gordon RAMsey. A shark named Fin Diesel. A jellyfish named Jelly Clarkson. An Iguana named Eddie Lizard. A hyena named Hyena Bonham Carter. A penguin named Robird Downey Jr.

a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Clixer712
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2019
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After one too many jokes about farm animals, my wife couldn't take it anymore. She told me to get out.

I said fine, alpaca bag.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/baltinerdist
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12 2019
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A llama smokes

alpaca day

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iBeenie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2018
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Going on holiday? Llama help you pack your bags ;)
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Anonymousse228
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2018
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What did the mamma llama say to the baby llama said he was out of lunch money?

"Alpaca lunch for you”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 59
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jgsmith516
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 28 2019
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What did the llama look a like say when he was asked to go on a vacation?

Alpaca bag.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shartnado3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 13 2019
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What did the llama say to his girlfriend when she kicked him out of the house?

No probllama, alpaca my bags.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IsMyLifeASimulation
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 17 2019
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What do you get if you castrate a field of South American camelids?

A pack of lack-a-knacker alpacas.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/grootisgod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 09 2018
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πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lighteyez
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 19 2015
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Sweet old lady walks into Perkins with a home made sweater.

The sweater was made with alpaca wool and had a pattern with alpacas wrapping around her chest. It had a beautifully intricate diamond pattern of various colors and you could tell it was finely crafted.

Mom: wow, what a beautiful sweater is that made from alpaca wool?

Old lady: Yes, we have a small herd of them.

Dad: YOU HAVE A HERD OF SWEATERS?!

Old lady stares blankly into my fathers eyes not quite understanding as I’m dying.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/servuslucis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 17 2018
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A llama comes home after a hard day at work...

In an effort to cheer him up, his wife says β€œHoney I have great news! I found a great deal on a vacation for us next week! We’re going to Peru!” The husband says β€œPeru?! That’s fantastic! Alpaca suitcase!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vXDos_EquisXv
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2018
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What did the Mama Llama say to the Daddy Llama while they were getting ready to go on vacation?

You make sure the kids are ready and Alpaca the bags.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DidlyDeePotato
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 28 2015
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My girlfriend's dad messaged her this...

She sent a photo of an alpaca at our local shopping center to him on Whatsapp to which he replied "awesome... alpaca bag and be right over!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Karma-Tastes-Good
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 18 2014
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What did the Andean mammal say when it was time to go on vacation?

Alpaca suitcase!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tlkshwhst
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 06 2016
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Picture this: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas.

Global chaos ensues.

The disease wipes out 99% of humanity, and the desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 01 2020
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What'd the llama say before his vacation?

Alpaca bag

πŸ‘οΈŽ 41
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WantedDadorAlive
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2020
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What did one Llama say to other before their holiday?

Alpaca my bags.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheDamnBlitzkrieg
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 14 2017
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