25th Puns

I asked him why but he just kept screaming

Dad: "Keep mum."

That's when he reveals his presents

I don't know whie.

I’m sure he’d be okay with a card that said ‘Happy Birthd’, eh?

It's 11 months until Christmas.

is a war on Christmas.

January 25th, 2019

There is the 1st, the 2nd, the 25th, etc., no day has ever been called A, B or Mary.

So one of my childhood friends made a Facebook status about hanging out with her parents. I don't think she even realizes how much of a gem her dad is.

Mom: "So another person in my graduating class died..."

Me: "Oh no..."

Mom: "Yeah so I guess it's all starting for me."

Me: "Oh my gosh haha stop."

Mom: "But, you know, a lot of people were dead at my 25th reunion."

Dad: "Wow... it must've smelled..."

Me: lololololol

Mom: ".... Wait, what?"

It was a few weeks before Christmas and my grandma was about to leave Grandma: So when is Christmas this year(implying day of the week) Dad: December 25th Everyone:confused silence and groans

Every year my girlfriend's family and my family try to celebrate Christmas on different days, so my Christmas-crazy-starts-decorating-for-Christmas-before-I've-taken-my-Halloween-costume-off girlfriend has been bugging me about what day my family is celebrating for a few weeks. The other day we had a conversation that went like this:

SO: "So when's Christmas?"

Me: "[SO], Christmas is the same day every year, December 25th"

Apparently I'm not funny, but today I was on the phone with my awesome mom and my girlfriend was bugging me to ask her what day we were celebrating, so I ask.

Me: "[SO] wants to know what day Christmas is"

Mom: "Well, you should tell [SO] that Christmas is the same day as every other year, December 25th!"

I repeated it to her and she sobbed silently while my mother and I laughed our asses off for the next ten minutes.

Why?

*screams*