31st Puns

A list of puns related to "31st"

I got a vasectomy scheduled for October 31st.

Doctor calls it his 'Hollow-ween' special.

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👤︎ u/jakiray6
📅︎ Jun 23 2020
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Every dad on the 31st of december at 11.59PM

"See you in a decade"

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👤︎ u/Metukk
📅︎ Dec 12 2019
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Today's my 31st birthday

I'm in the prime of my life!

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👤︎ u/haymalb
📅︎ Feb 01 2020
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Dads everywhere on December 31st..

See you next decade! Laughing maniacally

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👤︎ u/DalinarxBlackthorn
📅︎ Dec 11 2019
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Every October 31st, my dog begins baying loudly a loud, prolonged, mournful cry...

I guess he likes to celebrate Howloween...

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Oct 15 2019
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My watch said today was June 31st...

I said July!

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👤︎ u/boredtxan
📅︎ Jul 01 2019
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Babies born March 31st are the easiest to prank on April Fool’s

They were literally born yesterday!

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👤︎ u/36chambersoffun
📅︎ Jul 07 2019
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On the 31st of December whilst leaving home to go to a New Years Party, your dad says ...

See you next year

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👤︎ u/alberj
📅︎ Dec 27 2018
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I can't wait for Christmas this December, but the 31st will be stressful.

I've been diagnosed with old langxiety.

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👤︎ u/cdos93
📅︎ Nov 14 2018
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If an infant learns to eat solid food on October 31st...

Does that mean they Hallowean?

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👤︎ u/-Silverr-
📅︎ Oct 15 2017
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What do Jews celebrate on October 31st?

Challahween

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👤︎ u/bravesaint
📅︎ Oct 27 2017
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What do cows do on December 31st?

Celebrate Moo Years Eve of course!

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👤︎ u/milhouse728
📅︎ Dec 31 2015
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Last night, my wife looks at me with a sudden realization and says, "We have to DO IT tomorrow!!"

My first thought was, "why is that not the goal for every day?" When I asked OK but why, her response was, "We can't let the last day of the year end without a bang!"

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👤︎ u/DigitiQuinti
📅︎ Dec 31 2015
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Got my grandmother today in the car

So I'm driving my grandmother around so she can go Christmas shopping. Her: I wish I had a date for New Years Eve. Me: You do, December 31st! It took her a few minutes for her to actually realize what I said.

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👤︎ u/Poop-Bandit
📅︎ Dec 19 2014
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End of the Year

So my son asked me yesterday: "Dad, what day does the year end this year?"...I knew he had meant which day of the week... I peered at him over the top of the news paper ( yes I still read newspapers) and answered very seriously... "December 31st"

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👤︎ u/noboatfred
📅︎ Dec 11 2013
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