That's alot of information to swallow.
No change is expected.
It says press 1 for the money or 2 for the show.
Although in my experience, you only need two arms.
These are the pyre rates of the Caribbean.
Yes a twist on an oft reposted joke. You are welcome.
Idk how many of you have seen the post that the redditor said they pulled out a dollar (or card) that said otherwise. I enjoyed it so much that I decided to honor that redditor and spread his legacy with the ones in my life. They may very well not see this post, many may have forgotten about their amazing wit already, but I will make sure that "I have a card that says otherwise" lives on http://imgur.com/DQdAVqa
It was a manslaughter.
Edit: Whoa, thanks for 250 upvotes!
Edit 2: 500 upvotes for a dad joke I made up on the fly? Thanks so much to everyone!
They’re immediately taken back to a room.
Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Finally, the doctor
comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a $250 bill.
“This must be a mistake,” the man says. “I’ve been here only 20 minutes!”
“No mistake,” the doctor says. “It’s $100 for the lab test, $100 for the cat scan and $50 for the medicine.”
She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250,000 miles. One day, she told her problem to a friend she worked with at a salon. Her friend told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."
"That doesn't matter," replied Judi, "as long as I can sell the car."
"Okay," said Judi's friend. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."
The following weekend, Judi made the trip to the mechanic. Two weeks later the friend asked Judi, "Did you sell your car?"
"No," replied Judi, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"
We've moved 250 miles north and we've still got the same window cleaner!
It was a used and fairly old car, so it was a little smelly...
Dad: So how many horse power does this car have?
Me: About 250, why?
Dad: I think one of them died.
You don’t know if they have $250,000 or $1,000,000 in Quarters.
250 chessmasters for some huge tournament. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I have to listen to chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
Killed 250 bobs.
But she wasn't such a fan of my joke.
(If they ever make a tour stop within 250 miles, I think I now owe her concert tickets...)
Hi Folks, If you are a linguist then I am selling your dream car! I’m selling an Accent, a 2004 Hyundai Accent to be precise. Even if you don’t know a bunch of languages, this car is still great for you.
Just like me, it’s been around the birthday block a few times, but there’s still lots of life left in both of us, I guarantee! If you are looking for the perfect body, seek out a surgeon. If you’re looking for a car that will love you just the way you are, this is it. Now I know what you’re thinking, “I bet this is a junker”, but you’d be wrong. Next to my wife this is the best body I’ve ever had my hands on.
What’s wrong with it mechanically you ask? Nothing! It drives great, A/C & heat still work like a dream, breaks work, transmission shifts good, and the 1.6L engine runs great. With its age, the engine has had some parts replaced. All the belts have recently been changed, that happens with age as I just went up a few sizes myself. The washer fluid pump has been changed because it’s important to be able to have a good cry once in a while. I did an oil change in the summer and depending on how long it takes for this car to finds it’s new match, I will do another in the next month or so.
Since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I’ll give you a run down of what the interior is like. It’s what’s on the inside that matters anyway right? I am the 3rd owner of this car and the previous owner was a smoker. I don’t believe there is a cigarette smell anymore but the cloth seats do have little holes in them. I mean hey, when you play with fire you get burnt right? The stereo head unit has been replaced with a modern Pioneer as the original just wasn’t in tune with my musical needs as a Dj. The only real problem this pretty young thing has is the passenger rear seatbelt does not retract. Since I have two mini controllers I taxi around, I’ve had car seats in the back and have had no reason to replace the seatbelt yet. A new one is only a cool $250 from Hyundai but will take some time for delivery. There are still 4 working seatbelts in the car so if you’re traveling with another couple, I’m sure they’ll love to cuddle up in the middle and behind you, the driver.
The trunk is spacious enough for the average trunk but just doesn’t work out so well for hauling Dj gear. The rear seats fold as easy a poker player having their bluff called, so it will give you extra room. Not much more that I can think of to tell you about but take a look at the plethora of p
... keep reading on reddit ➡Context: There is an upcoming 250 piece puzzle-making competition at work where teams compete to be the fastest puzzle-solvers. It is a corporate activity. I'm writing the invitation to be distributed and I want to get people participating. Help!
I have been watching our 'tax payer funded' spaceman Major Tim Peake's intergalactic adventures with very limited interest and have done some some pretty basic arithmetic. The ISS is 250 miles above the Earth,and Tim and his spaceman mates took off at 11am -ish, and it took 7 hrs to get there. Fuck me that is just a little over 35 mph, my first car an mk1 escort would have got there quicker!
"I don't know if it was the 250 pound shit I just took but the toilet almost overflowed."
me: blink
Boyfriend, "I just plunged the shit out of the toilet."
me: giggling hysterically
Him: looks at me like I've lost my mind.
Me: giggling
Him: lighbulb!
I was at my buddy's house and noticed he had a copy of "Go Set a Watchman" and I asked him what it was about. His dad, sitting across the room said "It's about 250 pages" then just laughed as my buddy and I groaned and left the room.
Meanwhile, when I came back home to visit family this summer, my parents were surprised by the amount of weight I lost, as I had gone from 275 pounds over the summer to 250 over the winter to 225 now. They'd just been back from Scotland, and right after they congratulated me on my weight loss, my father remarked that he had a gift to give me from their trip:
http://i.imgur.com/19Io48t.jpg
Really, Dad?
Wife: "They think slapping a coat of red paint is gonna get $250 for that thing?"
Me: "Maybe they're gonna try passing it off as a period piece."
It says press 1 for the money or 2 for the show
