Punny Crustacean SMS
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πŸ‘€︎ u/muscleupss
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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A short prisoner sent me an SMS message today

I needed a little context.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alaskan_Viking
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
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Dadjoked through sms

him: how are you sexy?

me: genetics

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGleebitz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2014
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Did you hear about the italian chef that died?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. Theres nutelling what can happen next... His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I can only espress-so much grief, but lettuce romaine calm. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There's just not mushroom left for italian chefs in this world... Sending olive my prayers to his family. His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it... You never sausage a tragic thing. Its such a shame good people die fusilli reasons. It was a farfalle from grace... My condolences for Roberto, who died in the spaghetto. May he rest in yeastπŸ™πŸ»β€οΈ

Wow! Im so glad so many people laughed at this joke, I got so much happy feedback from everyone lol thank u sm for all the rewards and upvotes, my week couldnt get better!😁

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLoveRaviolis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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He can't be the only one.

http://i.imgur.com/sxSmMut.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/netflixandbarf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
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My dad just Laid this down on my step mom

SM: β€œI bought some shaved Parmesan and manchego”

D: β€œoh good that hairy Parmesan was no good last time”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blueguy1271
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2017
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My dad was texting my step-mom.

Dad: Did you get the text I sent you?

SM: No, what did it say?

Dad: It didn't say anything you have to read it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vetheros37
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2016
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Did you hear about when Sting got an new Mobile Phone?

He sent out a SMS to the world.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toggle2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2013
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I still haven't gotten a response

Pic will be found in the comments below

Last night, as I was getting ready to cook dinner, I received a mysterious phone call from a number I didn't recognize and I naturally let it go to voicemail. Surprisingly the mystery caller did leave a voice message and several minutes later I got this text. To eliminate all possibilities I proceeded to listen to the voicemail and ensure it was indeed someone important to me. It was both of my parents(they like to put me on speakerphone so they can talk to me simultaneously) informing me of my Dad's new cellular device.

Now, as far as i can tell, my Dad has never sent a text msg in his life. He's been retired for 10+ years and he loves to talk on the phone to friends and loved ones for hours. He has no reason to text. I also wouldn't put him into a general category when it comes to dad jokes. Meaning he might not have enjoyed this as much as I. So, after much deliberation I decided to welcome my Dad to the world of SMS the only way I felt was appropriate to the relationship we share.

Also, one of my favorite of his sayings is referring to my best friend as suave(Ss-wave) and debonair (De-boner.)

Oh and don't let your meatloaf.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefripps
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2015
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