My brother had to quit his job as a weightlifter because he wasn't strong enough.
He handed in his too weak notice yesterday.
π︎ 13k
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︎ Nov 13 2020
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough.
I've just handed in my too weak notice.
π︎ 8k
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︎ Oct 22 2020
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
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︎ Nov 26 2020
My new job at the nuclear reactor requires me to take anger management classes.
They're to prevent meltdowns.
π︎ 242
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︎ Nov 20 2020
i heard my dad was stealing from his roadworks job
i didnt believe it at first but when i got home all the signs were there
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 14 2020
I got fired from my job at Dairy Queen
Because I refused to work on sundaes
π︎ 54
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︎ Dec 04 2020
What four elements are you not allowed to bring to your job?
Nitrogen, sulfur, Fluorine, and tungsten, cause they are NSFW.
π︎ 131
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︎ Nov 19 2020
I just got a new job as a guillotine operator....
π︎ 144
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Told my wife I was quitting my job today to become an electrician
π︎ 64
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Just got a job offer at a thyme factory
π︎ 13
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︎ Dec 09 2020
βI love my job!β exclaimed the farmer. βAll you do is boss me around all day!β complained one of his sheep. βWhat did you say?β challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled...
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︎ Oct 25 2020
I started up a dating site for chickens, but it's not my main job, I'm just doing itβ¦
π︎ 225
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︎ Nov 08 2020
I once had a job pressing soda cans.
π︎ 14
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︎ Dec 13 2020
How does a giraffe find a job?
π︎ 21
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︎ Dec 03 2020
At a job interview I got asked to describe myself in a nutshell
I said it's so dark I can't breathe has anyone got a nut cracker I can't breathe
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︎ Nov 15 2020
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
π︎ 22
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︎ Nov 20 2020
Why did the Donkey quit his job?
π︎ 25
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︎ Nov 19 2020
You always have to keep your job exciting.
Being a well driller, I often dream I could drill right to the center of the earth.
If I didn't have such a great imagination my job would be just boring.
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 14 2020
I got a job crushing cans, and I hate it.
π︎ 181
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︎ Oct 26 2020
Why did the can crusher quit his job?
Because it was soda-pressing.
π︎ 9k
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︎ Jul 25 2020
I quit my job at the IRS.
π︎ 47
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︎ Nov 26 2020
What is the difference between an old bus station and a crab with a boob job?
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean
π︎ 11k
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︎ Jul 09 2020
I applied for a job at Amazon.
I told them I'll arrive for the interview between 9&5.
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 08 2020
I finally got my dream job at the guillotine factory
Iβll beheading there shortly
Edit: Thanks for the silver. My first ever award!
π︎ 14k
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︎ Jun 16 2020
I don't think I'll ever find a stable job
To be honest I'm not too comfortable around horses.
π︎ 19
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︎ Nov 17 2020
What did the taxidriver say, when he lost his Will to do his Job?
Please end My Chauffeuring!
π︎ 26
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Why did the window inspector quit his job?
π︎ 13
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︎ Dec 07 2020
Hope that job doesnβt suck
π︎ 7k
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︎ Jun 28 2020
Why are scarecrows so good at their jobs?
Theyβre outstanding in their field
π︎ 18
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︎ Nov 13 2020
I quit my elevator job
Had too many ups and downs
π︎ 10
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︎ Nov 27 2020
I cut lumber for a living, but I keep sleeping on the job.
As you can tell, I'm a slumberjack.
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 17 2020
Found this today. With numbers like those she don't need an udder job
π︎ 29
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︎ Oct 17 2020
Getting interviewed for a job as a blacksmith: Interviewer: Do you have any experience shoeing a horse?
Me: No, but I once told a donkey to F off.
π︎ 10
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︎ Nov 18 2020
I got fired from my job at the calendar factory
All I did was take a day off
π︎ 60
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︎ Nov 01 2020
Just been offered as a job a Noise Pollution officer .
But, I had to turn it down.
π︎ 31
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︎ Nov 04 2020
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 13 2020
Why did the can crusher quit his job?
Because it was soda pressing.
π︎ 109
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︎ Oct 21 2020
A midget was in my office applying for a job. He humbly noted all the benefits of his stature regarding the job.
I still think he was selling himself short.
π︎ 39
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︎ Oct 21 2020
Do you know why nursing is a woman's job?
Because men can't breastfeed.
π︎ 27
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︎ Oct 24 2020
I've just been offered a job as a human chess piece...
The money is good.
I'm on knights this week.
π︎ 27
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︎ Oct 26 2020
I conducted a study for Steve Jobs regarding the lack of evolution in his employees.
Those are Apple Bottom Genes.
π︎ 12
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︎ Nov 28 2020
I want a job just like in Inception.
π︎ 10
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︎ Nov 29 2020
Man: Iβm so sorry Iβm late for my ship cleaning job. What are my responsibilities?
π︎ 10
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︎ Nov 27 2020
I got promoted at my job and my new office is up in a tree house.
π︎ 156
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︎ Sep 25 2020
Get a job
π︎ 31
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︎ Oct 26 2020
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
π︎ 53
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︎ Nov 21 2020
I got a job at the guillotine factory.
I'll beheading there shortly.
π︎ 33
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︎ Oct 21 2020
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