Did you hear a CVS manager had to pee in the forest?

He used the toilet-trees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/suamigojose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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The interviewer caught me lying on my CV.

"Get up!" he shouted. "Why the hell are you trying to sleep in an interview?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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My CVS Receipt Was So Long, I Could Tie It Around My Waist...

It was a waist of paper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/webguy1975
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
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Mixed nuts were buy one get one free at CVS today.

I told the cashier I normally don't buy so many of them, but this deal was just nuts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hmatmotu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2014
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Friend's Dad's advice with what to add to her CV
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seanabel
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2013
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MY DAD LOVES CVS

Now that's what I call Dad music

https://soundcloud.com/hennessyyoungman/cvsbangers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperFlaccid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2014
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True Story: My wife took my 15 year old daughter to get her 1st ...

Pfizer vaccination on Friday night at a local CVS. The place was packed and there was an older couple there thanking everyone for getting vaccinated. When my wife and daughter got home they were telling me about how packed it was. My daughter mentioned the older couple and said that when they thanked her, they asked which shot she received. β€œPfizer”, she said. The couple said, β€œWell we’re Moderna folks!” My daughter asked me why that mattered…. Well, I said… In 2 years, all of us Modera folks will have grown two heads and all of you Pfizer people will probably have four arms. My daughter then looks innocently at both my wife and I and said, β€œwhat about the people that got the Johnson & Johnson vaccine?” My wife and I completely lost it… we laughed so hard our stomachs hurt. My daughter started laughing too, but had no idea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gorillacode
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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A man walks in to his job interview

The interviewer waits for the man to sit down before putting the papers in his hand flat on the table between them. "I have here the CV you submitted when you applied for this job. Unfortunately there's a 4 year gap on your CV, can you explain that please?"

The man shuffles uncomfortably in his seat and says "those are the years I went to Yale..."

The interviewer, not expecting this, was taken by surprise and said: "wow that's very impressive! You're hired!"

The man, surprised himself, replies: thanks! I really need this yob!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardybrownie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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My wife is telling me about her day..

Wife: I went to CVS today.

Me: Who is VS

Wife:

Me: Get It?!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elguapomexitaco42
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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My dad asked me if I wanted a Hertz donut...

Back in the 90s, I remember playing some N64 after school when my dad came home from work. He comes into the living room and asks me what's up and, as a teen, I say "nuthin" and keep playing while he just stands there. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see he's looking at me with a stupid grin on his face that's he's trying to suppress poorly. Finally, he asks me to pause the game. I turn to him and he asks "You want a Hertz donut?" I obviously know this joke, but to make it worse, he's already making a fist, ready at his side. I roll my eyes and say "No, I do not want a Hertz donut." He just relaxes his hand and says surprised "Oh, you don't? You sure?" I say I'm sure and he says okay and walks back out to his car, leaving me to return to my GoldenEye. A few seconds later, he comes strolling back in the room, with a box of a dozen donuts in his hand, while he's eating one, with the same stupid grin on his face. On the box of donuts, "Dunkin" has been crudely crossed out and Hertz written beneath it in Sharpie marker. He walks into the kitchen saying "Guess you won't be having these Hertz donuts!" I'm in awe. I follow him into the kitchen and he finally relents and lets me take a donut. I ask him "So, you bought these donuts, and just put this joke together on the way home?" He says he thought of the joke earlier in the day at work and had to buy the donuts for the bit. I start laughing hysterically thinking about him sitting at work itching to leave to pull this off. As we sit there, quietly eating these donuts, he breaks the silence with a mouth full of donut, with "Had to stop at CVS to pick up a Sharpie too." I almost choked on the donut jimmies.

TLDR: Dad offered a Hertz donut, should've taken him up on it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PriestPorridge
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2014
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Ernie would make a great dad

http://imgur.com/a/cgsCv

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swimgur
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2014
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I made a service clerk walk away.

There is a CVS about a 5 minute walk from my house that I like to get my convenience shopping done at with these auto-checkout kiosks that always lock up. I scanned my drinks and like clockwork the machine started beeping that somebody would be available to assist me shortly; the machine had locked up. A young girl scans her ID to bring it back to functionality and asks if I needed any further assistance.

I pointed to my reflection in the window and said "No thanks, I'm going to finish checking myself out and be on my way" and flexed a bit

It took her a second, but once the guy in the photo department started cracking up she got it. I laughed all the way home.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nemesis0320
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2014
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What happens when you don't let a pirate pee?

Well he becomes irate! Dad told me this one on the way out of CVS when we saw a guy with an eye patch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BubberDuckey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2015
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