'39 Puns

Sheepdog: Yeah I know, but I rounded them up!

Unfortunately it was at Taco Bell.

41

Because if you waited just a minute longer it would be too farty.

10 agreed to come and 39

Beer Nuts are $1.39, and Deer Nuts are just under a buck.

Don’t believe me? Just watch...

It said "A window of opportunity won't open by itself." The lucky numbers were 2, 4, 11, 12, 35, and 39.

2:39

tooth hurty? Nein.

From the Red Skelton radio show, with Red playing Bolivar Shagnasti, interviewing a new performer for his circus

Lady: I’m a performer.

Red Skelton: What’s your forte?

Lady: Pardon?

Red Skelton: Your forte.

Lady: No, I’m only 39.

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The following is my conversation through texts with him at 3:30 today.

Me: What's the address for the Xmas party.

Dad: Don't know I'll have to ask your mother

Me: What time is it?

Dad: 3:36 pm

Me: 3:36? Why not 3:37 or you know 3:35? Or even better... 3:30?

Dad: Cuz it's 3:39 right now

Me: ... What time is the party

Dad: oh you wanted to know what time the party is.

Me: ...

Dad: 3 pm.

Had me and my friends laughing so hard.

An obligatory comment about this being my first post

My son showed me his watch. The time on the watch was changing sporadically: 5:24, 12:01, 8:39, 1:44, etc. He said, "Look! My watch is having a stroke!" My response, "I don't know about a stroke, I'd say it's more likely a short in its Trisynaptic Circuit."

When my brother was four years old, my dad told him to go sit on Santa Claus' lap at the church. Santa Claus was actually being played by my second uncle, Mr. Herman. My brother had already heard rumors of this, so when he went to sit on Santa Claus' lap he asked: "Are you Mr. Herman?" Mr. Herman replied: "Baloney!"

My brother went back to my dad and said: "His name is Baloney!"

(My brother is now 39 years old and the proud father of a 19-month-old son)

Chuck Fullmer, 38, yesterday became the first American to get to grips with the concept of sarcasm.
"It was weird" Fullmer said. "I was in London and like, talking to this guy and it was raining and he pulled a face and said, "Great weather eh?" and I thought - "Wait a minute, no way is it great weather".
Fullmer then realised that the other man's 'mistake' was in fact deliberate.
Fullmer, who is 39 next month and married with two children, aged 8 and 3, plans to use sarcasm himself in future. "I'm, like, using it all the time" he said. "Last weekend I was grilling steaks and I burned them and I said "Hey, great weather."

My brother finished a mario kart double dash race in 2 minutes, 39.001 seconds. He said that if he was a millisecond faster he would have had an even second. I reminded him no, it would have been an odd second

Unfortunately it was at Taco Bell.

Unfortunately it was from taco bell

at Taco Bell