If you ever get locked out your house, talk to your lock calmly
Because communication is key
Having a fish tank in your house actual helps with stress
How do you get a fly out of your house?
You shouldn't build your house in the middle of a street.
What do you call two men with no arms, and no legs, redecorating your house?
Did you discuss repainting the house with your wife?
What's a ghost least favorite room of your house?
What in Helsinki, do you call the height to which in the interior of your house was built?
Someone told me that half of all car accidents happen within one mile of your house…
A murderer is in your house. What do you do?
What's the safest room in the house if there's a burglar got into your house with a shotgun?
You know you're no longer in charge of your house....
.....when the dog decides what time you should wake up.
Honey, your son said he's thinking of burning down the neighbor's house!!
You mean, arson?
(I probably coulda worded it better, but you see where I'm going with it at least)
What do you call a Dad joke created at your house?
What's the safest part of your house during a zombie invasion?
The living room.
(From a 9-year-old!)
What do you call an Orange who cleans your house in 60 seconds?
You have five minutes to prepare. A man is coming to kill you and you can't leave your house. What do you do?
Go to the living room.
All credit to u/silentagent47 and u/on-oath-never-again over at r/AskReddit.
why should you never take a shower or get changed with a Pokémon in your house?
Because you know they'd Pikachu
What do you call it when the loan shark comes to your house and breaks your legs?
The police came to my house last night, showing me a picture, asked, “Is this your wife, sir?”, I answered, “Yes”. Then they said,
’m afraid it looks like she’s been hit by a bus.”, “I know, but she’s good with the kids”, I replied
If you have ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly
Because communication is key
Edit: it's from here, so please give the op credit
I want to set up cloning machine in your house too
If you are freezing in your house, go sit in a corner...
They are always 90 degrees.
What do you do when a bad plumber backs up your toilet and causes a flood in your house?
Why should you surround your house with a mound of map pins?
Because a tack is the best form of da fence.
How do you get your lunch on the house?
What's it called when your wife tells you to get out of the house and go hang out with your friends
Why does paint keep your house warmer?
If you don't have numbers on your house,
that is something you definitely need to address
If a clown comes to your house and starts eating everything from your fridge, don't get offended.
What's the best way to figure out if your house is haunted?
You play peek-a-BoOoOoOo.
What should you do when someone leaves an old sink outside your house?
How does your house cat get paid for working?
Petcheck. Duh.
My 9yo hit me with this today and I'm couldn't be more proud! Lmao
You definitely do not want a bunch of fungus in your house.
There isn't mush room for it.
Son to me: hey daddy! What do you call a bug that's not in your house?
My 3 year old's first original joke: How do you move a house without your hands?
WITH A TORNADO
Yeah she watches a lot of Wizard of Oz right now
When a kitchen fixture is delivered to your house, you should ALWAYS allow it to be brought inside.
If you're ever locked out of your house, start talking to your lock, calmly and clearly.
After all, good communication is the key.
What do you do when you get locked out of your house without a key?
Talk to your door because communication is the key
If you ever get locked out of your house
Don't panic. Talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is the key.
If you're locked outside your house bend down and calmly talk with the door lock.
Because communication is key.
If you ever lock yourself out of your house, just talk to the lock calmly.
Because communication is key.
If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your house calmly.
Because communication is the key.
If you should ever get locked out of your house, try talking calmly to the door. After all, communication is key 🔑
If you ever get locked out of your house just talk to the lock.
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