Today I learned that if a canoe turns upside down in the water, you can safely wear it on your head.
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︎ Dec 29 2020
I gots two words that will leave you all scratching your heads.
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︎ Dec 15 2020
If your boat flips you can wear it on your head.
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︎ Dec 15 2020
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
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︎ Nov 10 2020
What do meth heads leave on your voicemail?
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︎ Oct 21 2020
Whatβs green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell out of a tree on to your head?
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︎ Sep 04 2020
Daughter asked, βWhy am I named Rose?β Its because a rose landed on you shortly after you were born. My other daughter asked, β Why am I named Daisy?β It is because a daisy landed on your head after you were born.
My son asked, β Why is my name Richard?β
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︎ Sep 06 2020
What makes music on your head?
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︎ Aug 22 2020
What's it mean when you have a song stuck in your head?
You have a one-track mind.
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︎ Jan 02 2020
I was watching football with my 11 year old son and wearing a short sleeve shirt. He said, "Dad, you have as much hair on your arms as I have on my head." I said,
"even more interesting, you have as much hair on your arms as I have on my head."
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︎ Sep 29 2019
Thereβs a bounty on your head
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︎ Apr 26 2019
FYI, If your boat turns upside down, you can wear it on your head.
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Because it's capsized
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︎ Jul 08 2019
Now this will be in your head!!
Regular back:
- boring
- hurts
- full of bones
Backstreet's back:
- alright
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︎ Sep 16 2019
A woman walks into a doctor's office with a frog on her head. Slightly taken aback, he tells her to sit and asks, "What would happen to be your ailment?"
"Well doc, there would appear to be a woman stuck to my butt."
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︎ Oct 14 2019
Try not to lose your head.
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︎ Jan 23 2019
βWhy are you shaving off your kidβs head, Mrs. Ice?β
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︎ Aug 02 2019
If you flip a boat over, it will fit on your head;
After all, it's now ... capsized!
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︎ Apr 01 2017
Keep your head for this
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︎ Jun 15 2017
Bounty on your head
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︎ Mar 05 2018
If you're a fan of phrenology, you should have your head examined.
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︎ Oct 29 2018
My wife is having a bad headache and I said to her "It's all in your head honey"
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︎ Dec 24 2017
If you're young, this might go over your head
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︎ Jan 17 2018
I can sanitize milk by throwing it at your head.
The milk becomes safe to drink once it goes past-ur-eyes.
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︎ Sep 21 2018
What do you call a bunny that sits on your head?
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︎ Dec 11 2017
Just a head on your left.
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︎ Aug 12 2018
My son looked at my bald head today and said 'Dad your head looks like a lightbulb'
I was incandescent with rage
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︎ Dec 07 2017
Is it legal to wear snakes on your head?
I'm asking for a friend of mine. Medusanal purposes only.
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︎ Aug 25 2016
Sorry mate, I broke your axe head...
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︎ Nov 20 2014
A head injury can really open your mind.
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︎ Aug 16 2016
Dad I can't see the TV -- move your head!
bobs-head-from-side-to-side-while-continuing-to-obscure-the-tv
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︎ Oct 03 2013
Huh...do these things just get downloaded into your head?
My son was born last week and for the last 8 days I've had 3 or 4 of them every single day without even trying. I can't even recall any of them at the moment, but it's like having a child made me able to take advantage of every pun ever.
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︎ Jan 03 2014
TIL: If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head.
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︎ Jul 07 2019
TIL: If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
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︎ Oct 23 2019
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head.
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︎ Jul 19 2019
When your boat turns upside down you can wear it on your head
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︎ Jul 08 2019
A concussion is an injury that is all in your head
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︎ Nov 26 2015
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