Yigal Allon Puns

I'm sure we all have opinions, one way or the other, over whether anti-Zionism is anti-Semitism. I fall strongly in the camp that argues not only is anti-Zionism anti-semitism, but it is one of the surest examples of antisemitism.

I think it helps to dissociate anti-semitism from prejudice itself. The thought process usually goes something like this.

• A Jewish woman not allowed to stay in a hotel overnight -> prejudice -> anti-semitism.
• A Jewish man attacked on the street for wearing a kippah -> prejudice -> anti-semitism.
• A synagogue attacked on Sukkot -> prejudice -> anti-semitism.

These are all examples of how Jewish people and organizations are treated differently from their non-Jewish counterparts. Targeted because of their Jewishness. So it is very easy to understand that these are antisemitic. But there is an underlying current that we often forget. Antisemitism is an exercise of unequal power. Discrimination isn't prejudice. It is the use of power you have to further prejudiced ideas. Holding anti-Jewish ideas but then not acting on it in any way, to me at least, isn't antisemitism.

A feminist parallel

I often like to think on it from a lens of feminism. Very few men "hate" women. In fact, hatred and prejudice is often not the things feminists fight against. The fight is against power structures that are designed to hurt women.

Let's talk about domestic violence. Let's say A a man, who beats his wife B. In this context, individual power outside context does not matter. B might earn more than A, or have more political influence than A or work in a less dangerous job than A. But in a particular context of their home, B cannot exercise power over herself.

A doesn't need to hate all women. He doesn't need to be prejudiced against women. His opinions on women don't matter in this context. His actions against B in particular do. This exercise of unequal power is misogynist, and any decent feminist would fight against this power imbalance.

But let's take it a step further and think through how feminists would fight against it. A feminist position would be to argue for better policing and more shelters. These are systematic responses to unequal power. But again, let's focus on these two answers. One looks to respond to it and other to provide women with a safe space. They are both responses to the same problem. One tries to guarantee that the power of the state will protect you against such events. The other doubts

Order from Defense Minister and Prime Minister David Ben Gurion 4 May 1947.

Reorganization of the Israeli Military Forces

All military forces of the State of Israel will serve under the Israeli Defense Force under four Branches: The Israeli Ground Forces, The Israeli Air Force, The Israeli Navy, and the C4I Corps. The Prime Minister will serve as commander in chief of the IDF, and the Minister of Defense will be charged with seeing through the Prime Ministers' vision of the IDF. The Chief of Staff will serve as the highest-ranking officer in the IDF. The first Chief of Staff will be Yaakov Dori.

The Israeli Ground Forces will be split into 12 Brigades; 10 Infantry and 2 Armoured, each with their own operation theater.

Golani Brigade

Commanded By Moshe Mann

The Golani Brigade will be responsible for the Lower Galilee region of Israel.

Carmeli Brigade

Commanded by Moshe Carmel

The Carmeli Brigade will be responsible for the region around Haifa.

Alexandroni Brigade

Commanded by Dan Even

The Alexandroni Brigade will be responsible for the region of Central Israel near Latium.

Kiryati Brigade

Commanded by Michael Ben-Gal

The Kiryati Brigade will be responsible for the region north of Tel Aviv.

Givati Brigade

Commanded by Shimon Avidan

The Givati Brigade will be responsible for the region south of Tel Aviv.

Etzioni Brigade

Commanded by David Shaltiel

The Etzioni Brigade will be responsible for central Israel.

7th Armoured

Commanded by Shlomo Shamir

The 7th Armoured will be responsible for the region of central Israel near Latium.

8th Armoured

Commanded by Yitzhak Sadeh

The 8th Armoured will be responsible for the region around Tel Aviv.

Oded Brigade

Commanded by Avraham Yoffe

The Oded Brigade will be responsible for the central region of Israel near Tel Aviv.

Harel Brigade

Commanded by Yitzhak Rabin

The Harel Brigade will be responsible for guarding the Tel Aviv rail line in central Israel.

Yiftach Brigade

Commanded by Yigal Allon

The Yiftach Brigade is responsible for the most northern parts of Galilee.

Negev Brigade

Commanded by Nahum Sarig

The Negev Brigade is responsible for the Negev Region.

Irgun and Lehi forces will be disbanded and reintegrated within the IDF. The Commander of the brigades will be given whatever supplies they require and are told to prepare for battle.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

1. If your ancestors immigrated to the US from Russia or Poland, their is a Yizkor book that likely has stories about them personally, and stories about the “shtetl” they came from. There are photographs of their shtetl from 1900-1950.

My father came from Vladimirets. You can read about him here.

I just discovered Sefer Vladimerits at Vladimerits.org is gone.

I will see if I can find it in the Internet archives. This is a tragedy.

www.kehilalinks.jewishgen.org/volodymyrets/

https://kehilalinks.jewishgen.org/volodymyrets/Docs/Vladimirets%20Jewish%20History.pdf

There may be a similar Yizkor Book for your parents.

Eliezer Shostak, also came from Vladimirets. He was a long time member of the Israeli Knesset and who later became Israel’s Health Minister.

2. My father was a very active member of ZOA. He was the VP of Michigan ZOA, and treasurer of the Detroit ZOA.

3. My father was one of 40 members of the “The Sonneborn Group,” “The Sonneborn Institute,” “Materials for Palestine.”

These 40 Jews violated the US Neutrality Act to arm the Jews in Yishuv with military aircraft, artillery, machines guns, explosives and naval warships. This prevented a second Holocaust and enabled them to win their 1948 War of Independence.

Some not only contributed money and arms, they helped Ben Gurion and the Haganah smuggle the arms into Israel, which at the time was a capital offense.

The true story is fascinating.

The Sonneborn Group worked with Ben Gurion and the Haganah whose headquarters was on the 13th floor of Hotel Fourteen located at 14 E. 60th St. between 5th Ave and Madison Ave, a few blocks away from Trump Towers.

The hotel was owned by Fannie and Ruby Barnett. Fannie was Chaim Weizmann’s secretary and a Haganah operative.

The famous Copacabana was in the basement where Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin entertained.

4. My father with the help of Mordechai Peretzki helped establish the first 40 religious kibbutzim in Israel.

5. My father with the help of Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Shragai founded the first Jewish religious party in Israel, Hapoel HaMizrachi which became Likud, and now the party Netanyahu.

6. My father helped rescue millions of Jewish refugees stranded in Europe. They were called DPs or “Displaced Persons.”

7. The true story of Israel’s creation is told in just few books that few people have read. It is truly wild, exciting story with a cast of many famous people, many outlandish characters, Counts, and mobsters.

The complete story

Israel : The Barrier to Peace PT1

March 10, 2014 at 5:54 PM

This is my history term paper. I don't know what is going on with the formatting . Israel: The Barrier to Peace in Palestine

There is an ongoing humanitarian crisis that has gripped the Palestinians since 1948. In 1948 the Palestinians lost their homeland, and continue to this day living as diaspora, under military occupation in the West Bank and Gaza Strip. Through continued settlement expansion into the occupied territories; Israel’s intentions are clear: it wishes to cleanse the area of the Palestinians. Taking the land of Palestine, by force if necessary, has always been the goal of Zionism. In 1937 David Ben-Gurion, known as the founding father of Israel, wrote to his son and stated, “The Arabs will have to go, but one needs an opportune moment for making it happen, such as a war”[i] . History has proven the accuracy of his claims: violence, acts of terrorism, war crimes, and political assassinations have been carried out against the Arabs and continues to this very day.

This paper traces the history of the conflict and of Israel’s crimes against humanity and its attacks on the Palestinians from pre-Statehood through to the present day. I examine the crimes of the three paramilitary groups that were used to establish the state of Israel and their leaders: the Haganah, the Irgun, and the Lehi. It argues that these groups whitewashed their crimes once the state of Israel was established, and will demonstrate how the leaders of these groups had their actions legitimized by the citizens of Israel through the political establishment. While Israeli politicians condemn the acts violence used by Palestinians in defending their homeland, these same politicians deny their own past atrocities, instead continuing to perpetrate crimes against the Palestinian people.

In summary, this paper’s central claim is that Israel was established by terrorists. The three paramilitary groups that formed pre- Israel statehood committed acts of terrorism and war crimes that were commanded by future Prime Minsters - all which continued their acts of terrorism after being incorporated into the political establishment. These acts of terrorism have continued to define how the government acts, not only towards the Palestinians, but on the International stage. Finally, this paper argues that the Palestinian-Israeli con

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

And boy are my arms legs.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

Amy

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Until he discovered it was extra sharp.

Christopher Walken

He lost May