What do you call a person with one eye that's sad all the time?
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︎ Dec 24 2020
If one person being sleepy is called tired, what would four people make?
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︎ Nov 06 2020
There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
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︎ Oct 25 2020
A friend of mine always carries around a scale with him no matter where he goes. Anytime he meets a new person named William he throws them right on the scale. So one day I finally asked, "why do you keep doing this?" He replied.
"because where there's a Will there's a weigh."
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︎ Oct 16 2020
What does a one-armed person has no need for?
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︎ Aug 11 2020
why can't you see the father of a person who identifies themself with a different gender than the one They're born with?
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︎ May 25 2020
If one person has to go to the bathroom, they have to pee
If two or more people have to go to the bathroom, they have to queue
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︎ Mar 22 2020
βͺAt one point, I had so much acne on my face, that a blind person mistook my right cheek for braille.β¬
βͺI was so embarrassed. Boy, was my face readβ¬
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︎ May 19 2020
I feel like I'm gonna choke a person one of these days by joking at the dinner table
And then get jailed for 12 months just for a man's laughter.
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︎ Feb 21 2020
What do you call a person with one arm and no legs ?
By their name. Donβt be a dick.
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︎ Jun 13 2019
Did you hear the one about the person with amnesia?
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︎ Mar 02 2020
What do you call a disable person with one arm?
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︎ Jan 20 2020
Iβve only dated one short person, but you know why we broke up?
We didnβt really see eye to eye
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︎ Oct 02 2019
I have 2 part-time jobs. For one, I put sodas into aluminum containers. For the other, I document a person's desires regarding what happens to their property after death
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︎ Jan 21 2020
What did one person say to another in the case of an earthquake?
"I don't think you understand the magnitude of the situation were in"
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︎ Oct 08 2019
One person died during the manufacturing of the world's largest lenses.
He fell into the vat of molten optical glass and made a spectacle of himself.
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︎ Oct 12 2019
I saw people putting notes at the bottom of a telephone pole. I asked them what they were doing and one person said:
"We are putting comments under this post"
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︎ Apr 04 2019
Only one person can stop LeBron
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︎ Jan 02 2019
A very opinionated person once said to me: βPeople call me biassed, but Iβve only got one!β
βYouβre two cheeky!β I replied
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︎ Apr 04 2019
What do you call a person that only has one side of their body?
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︎ Jul 13 2019
At a wedding party the dj yelled out "All married people please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living".
The bartender was almost crushed to death.
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︎ Mar 18 2019
My friend just had three kids! He asked me what to name them. I said βJames, Charles and Li Zhaoβ He asked me why the last one was Li Zhao. So I said βBecause every 3rd person born in this world is Chinese
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︎ Apr 23 2019
"The way Hulu works, only one person can watch at one time." - me
My dad responds with "So if there are two of us in the same room, Hulu will not work."
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︎ Jul 12 2018
No one person can be judge, jury, and executioner
But with a job change, we could have Judge Judy, Executioner
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︎ Jan 12 2019
Two Greek people had a poetry contest. One of them wrote an excellent poem conveying deep emotions. The other person's poem is just one-character long. In the end, the short poem won
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︎ Jan 22 2019
It's a shame we're only seventeen people in total. If we had one more person we could go to the club
Because we need to be 18 to enter
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︎ Sep 23 2018
Good taste is one of the most important things about a person.
At least that's what the cannibals say.
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︎ Mar 10 2018
Did you hear the one about the short person who tried to start a fight?
It's a real knee-slapper, I tell ya!
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︎ Feb 04 2018
Person one: "Don't put the pots and pans in the dishwasher, it wrecks the anti-stick stuff. That's how I ruined that big pan."
Person two: "I guess you could say the anti-stick went out of the frying pan, into the water."
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︎ Oct 24 2015
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