My 6 year old told me this one today. Why do dogs carry bones in their mouths?

Because they don't have pockets.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kristhebrown
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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My 8 year old just told me this one.. What does the minister say when you marry a computer?

I now pronounce you man and wifi.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mike-_-honcho
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
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My 6 year old daughter was listening to music with me and came up with this one: What is a bananas favorite Tom Petty song?

You Dont Know How It Peels

πŸ‘︎ 253
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MemphisMayhem
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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Why does a calendar last for one year only?

Because its days are numbered

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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My 14 year old dropped this one on me - I am so proud: two snare drums and a cymbal fall over a cliff...

Budd-a Ching!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bjazmoore
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
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We have an awesome tire swing at our home and my two year old started to push it, with no one on it, and I noticed he was pushing it harder and harder and I got worried it would come back and hit him

He was playing with tire.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scotty_mo2424
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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What do you call a book club that's been stuck on one book for years?

Church.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Such-Fig-3879
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
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Ive been waiting for one entire year for this moment
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deep__sip
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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My 5 year old got me with this one:

5yo: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Me: Why?

5yo: To get to the dummy's house.

Me:...

5yo:...

Me:...

5yo: Knock Knock.

Me: Who's there?

5yo: The chicken.

πŸ‘︎ 481
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wellimnotdeadyet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring my reflection, when I posed this question to my wife of 30 years, β€œWill you still love me when I’m old, fat, and balding?” She smiled and answered...

β€œI do!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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My friend's 4 year old said this one: Why did the dad cross the road?

To meet the chicken.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unikatze
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I have only two new years resolutions this year. One: get back to the weight I was before the accident.

Two: stop referring to last year's junk food binge as 'the accident'

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ben716
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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Just got this one from my 90 year old grandma: when does a joke become a dad joke?

... when it is full groan!

(Glad she still has her sense of humor at her age; gives me hope for my future!)

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Row199
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...

"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebikerdad
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
From my 11 year old daughter. Did you hear the one about the man with the broken hearing aids?

Neither has he...

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thrillhouse74
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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My 5 year old came up with this one. What is a skeleton's favorite weapon?

A bone and arrow (Kid loves to play minecraft sooo... yeah)

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emilytaege
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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Bit of a long one but this was 6 years ago i punned at my sister for an hour reddit.com/gallery/k2ad0t
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adam10boy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Day one: happy new year everyone

Is it just me or does last year feel like yesterday

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pizzatron574
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
EXTREMELY proud of my 5 year old son for this uninentional one:

Son: Dad...we need a net.

Me: Why?

Son: To catch our flight.

πŸ‘︎ 184
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mynickname86
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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My 7 year old just came up with this one, made me so proud

1

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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There is only one way to describe this year for Donald Trump.

Unpresidented.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ccalabrese01
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
All these years it was thought that Yoda only had one name. His family name is....

Ley-dihu!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sjdiver2001
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My 8 year old brother made this one: How does the fish cross the road?

It wears flip FLOPS!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedditSinn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
This has been a crazy year. After everything that has happened though do you want to know the one thing that I can’t get over ?

An 8 foot wall.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
If there’s one thing I learned over the years, its this…

When your wife starts a conversation with β€œCorrect me if I’m wrong…” you just smile and agree. Don’t correct her, it’s a trap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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This time of year we switch out our old decorative squash for a new one -

It's the traditional changing of the gourd.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justryingtokeepup
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Not a joke: does anyone have any Dad jokes that I can use on my 5-year-old? I see maybe one joke per week on here that she would understand. Do we need a r/youngerdadjokes?

Punchline

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tippopotamus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My 10 year old daughter just told me this one. "What did the green grape say to the purple grape?"

"Breathe you idiot, BREATHE!"

I've never been so proud.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iwuzwhatiwuz
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I was teaching my 12 year old daughter how to mow the lawn. β€œYou need to pick either up and down or right and left, and then stick to it,” I told her. β€œDo you mow the whole yard in one direction.”

β€œWhy?” she asked.

β€œBecause that’s what makes it beautiful.”

Oh, the eye roll on this kid.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisoatkins
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I got my wife a copy of the Pixar movie Up when it came out a long time ago, but she dropped it while opening it. She dropped it so many times over the years that the box is very damaged and the disc is no longer playable. Her other movies are perfectly fine, but not this one.

She did not hold Up well.

πŸ‘︎ 299
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mortalfloater
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My one new years resolution was to start to use my Velcro wall more.

So far I'm sticking to it.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jdollard333
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My son ate too much Easter candy one year, and threw it all up making loud wailing sounds as he did so.

I didn't want to hear another Peep out of him.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
(Got this one from my 4 year old) how do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it. Never been more proud

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nhockert23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
When my six year old son asks what one minus one is...

I say nothing

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/liftthedot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My 8 year old came up with this one, I still think about it:

Little Booger: Why are trees green?

Me: Uh, I dunno. Why?

LB: For camouflage!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeifSized
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Out of all the inventions in the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the best one.

It’s remarkable.

πŸ‘︎ 345
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DGNOLA12
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you remember hearing your first dad joke? Is there one that has stuck with you through the years?

Mine was about 20 years ago, I was 17 at the time and going to my gf’s sisters house for dinner with her family. We brought some things to help with dinner. As we’re walking up to the house carrying the cookware, her dad looks back and says, β€œhey, now that you’re walking the wok, can you talk the talk?”. Not sure why but I’ll never forget that. Still makes me chuckle to this day. What’s yours?

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/malker84
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Four-year-old son unknowingly got me with this one

Me: We need to put on our jackets because it's a little cold outside today.

Son after stepping outside: No Dad, it's a big cold

πŸ‘︎ 216
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My 9 year old just hit me with this one

My daughter didnt know what an inside joke was. After I explained it to her, she then announces an outside joke must be "knock knock...."

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shabbypenguin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
There's not just leap years. A leap second is a one-second adjustment that is occasionally applied to Coordinated Universal Time (UTC)! Without it, GPS wouldn't work! Want me to really blow your mind?

There's also leap-frogs.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Hi, I'm Poseidon. Just had to share this. I'm so proud of my boy. He's already working on his Christmas cards for this year, and I walked by and noticed what he was writing in each one.

Sea son's greetings.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danielaurence
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My 8 years old invented this one and I am proudly sharing it with you all

Dad, do you know what an olive is? A sick grape.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ppmartins
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Joke my 4 year old came up with. What did one pilot say to the other?

Who’s flying this thing?!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/witcher_woman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Watching Rogue One with my 8 year old on Father’s Day

When Vader is force choking Orson Krennic and says, β€œDon’t choke on your ambitions.”

My son looked at my and said, β€œHa Ha! Dad joke!”

So proud.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BockBock2000
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My 5 year old just got me with this one: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?

Frostbite!

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ilikecake81
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report

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