The people who write instructions for places like IKEA must be in good shape.

All that manual labor

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👤︎ u/TOYST_OF
📅︎ Mar 20 2022
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People at work say I'm intense....

I tell them they should see me when I'm camping...

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👤︎ u/afbat
📅︎ Aug 04 2018
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Why was the clown stressed out?

Because his work was intense.

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📅︎ Jul 25 2021
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I had a job in a clothing factory...

but I found the work to be SEW intensive.

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📅︎ Dec 31 2019
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I walk a lot and I've developed plantar fasciitis in my right heel

This condition is caused by inflammation of the plantar fascia along the bottom of your foot, and it can cause pretty intense heel pain.

After I got home from work last night I tried to soak my foot in some hot water. My wife saw me and said, "That isn't going to work..."

I said, "Hey! I am allowed to have my ache and heat it, too!"

She just stared at me for a moment, shook her head, and walked out of the room...

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👤︎ u/TurkMcGill
📅︎ Nov 20 2019
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Not necessarily a dad joke, but a good retiree joke/brief story just using that wit.

A Retiree's Last Trip to Sam's Club

Yesterday I was at Sam's Club, buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Owen , the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two handfuls every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care,because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Sam's Club won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

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📅︎ Dec 04 2013
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Some intense conversation

Today at work-

Bob: The 49ers game was intense! Jerry: What about camping? Bob: Huh? Jerry: It was intense, In... tents?

Friggin Granddad Jerry

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👤︎ u/rptroop
📅︎ Jan 12 2014
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