One is a cat loaf and the other is a cattle oaf.
The Quaranteens
Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.
Does Heaven turn out the lights and pretends nobody's home ?
would they be called Devil's Advocates?
he was lucky it was a soft drink
It’s called the Witch Tower Society.
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
But as I got closer it flew away
He woke up like 5 minutes later tho
He dyed on impact.
Two. One to change the light bulb and one to shoot the witnesses.
We have to play something other than monopoly next time
He’s all right now
Now that you're here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior?
Carrie underwood
It’s a Jehovah’s Witness working from home
I only counted 2 crows though, so I guess it was really an attempted murder
An iWitness.
Apparently he was the key witness.
Stolen from dad jokes.
Can I get a witness?
The Italians dont like any witnesses
.. but stealing someone’s soap really takes the cake.
To be sure. I’ll let myself out.....
To wit: to woo.
The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldn’t bother question 8D’s children about what they saw, since they’re too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9D’s kids will remember.
He was arrested when cops saw people actually letting him in.
...but I just let him sleep. Didn’t seem right to bother the boy.
He was really tired.
It was a heavy bird into bear.
Ancient Scot Richard's Warriors: Dick's Picts
Loki - Trick pics (from my brother)
Pictures of an Adam Sandler movie: "Click" pics.
Pictures of a Kaitlin Olson character: The Mick's pics
Screenahots of these comments: Wit pics
Leaky faucet: drip pics
X1 Cumberbatch photos: Benedict pics
X2 Pope photos: Benedict pics (also works)
X3 Turncoat snaps: Benedict pics
X4 "Wong" image: Benedict pics
Legal command: Writ pics
Pictures of twigs: Stick pics
A Christmas Story scene: lick pics
Pictures of a Winter Saint: Nick pics
Syringe photos: prick pics (from a friend)
Sporting goods store images: Dick's pics.
Dan Harmon cartoon character: Rick's pics.
Does that make you an iWitness?
I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming to their door
Yep, I was an iWitness
I said "Are you kidding, I didn't even see the accident." (Props to the Unknown Comic.)
An iWitness
A mirrorcle.
Passenger: Which bus are you?
Driver: I'm not a bus, I'm the driver.
I said, “Remains to be seen.”
The witness replied "I don't know, they just ransomware."
I responded without missing a beat, "That, my son, is a pine apple."
Shoutout to the mom passing by who witnessed and appreciated this gem.
Someone who knocks on your door for no reason at all.
