Incidentist
I don't know why.
We where at the table having lunch and eating the dessert, the dessert were some pre-made waffles that my mom had bought with ice cream on top, and the waffles where old and they had stayed on the freezer until we needed them, for some reason we started talking about how old the waffles where when my dad said with a semi-serious face: "theyre already from the last year" and stupid me reply with "already" to wich my dad just says that all food on the table was from a year ago and i finnaly realise it.
Give him a used tampon, and ask him from wich period is it.
Because of all the sand wich is there.
So we are hanging out on the couch with our 3 month old named Sam and my wife was holding him on her shoulder and I pressed my face to his and said we were making a sandwich when my wife corrected me with "we made a Sam-wich."
It's a man-wich!
So Iran to the fridge to Pakistan-wich. Unfortunately the Turkey had too much Greece and it ruined my fine China. i gave up on the sandwich because it was Kabul shit and i instead ate a Cuba sugar to Sweden my disposition. i still cant make a proper sandwich, Israeli hard.
Sadly it doesnt work in english. Ill give you the gist though.
Sei ich in einem langweiligen französisch Kurs. Stapel Stifte und Radiergummies, und nach einiger Zeit fragt die Lehrerin was ich den mache. "ich bin nebenberuflicher Hochstapler"
Translated gist: I was stacking pens and erasers in a french class. When the teacher asked what I was doing I said, Im a part time Hochstapler wich can basically mean high-stacker or fraudster
Got the whole class to laugh, twas fun
My Dad and I were watching a car auction last night. A Corvette went for low money and I exclaimed "That's a steal!" to wich my dad replied "No, that's fiberglass!"
My girlfriend is at the beach with her family this week and we've been texting like we always have. She interupts whatever the conversation is to say, "Hey, we're going to dinner in a bit so I might stop replying." I asked her where she was eating and she said "Tacky Jack's", which I had never heard of. She then explained, "It's a good place to get beach food." And I quickly replied, "Do they have any good sand-wiches?"
She didn't reply after that. Hopefully just because she's eating.
We were at a hotel, and my wife told the kids to stay away from the fragile windows, or else they could fall down. (We were in the 3rd floor) "We can't afford to lose any of you" she said.
To wich I replied: "With the funerals and all"
I think that was when she startet to hate me..
So I was making breakfast and, for some reason, my mother asked if I knew where Tuscan is. I answered Italy and she said yes and also said that we went there a good while ago. I answered "Ca doit faire mille ans par contre", wich is French for " It's been a thousand years though". Now, you must know that "Mille ans" is pronounced roughly "Mill An". She answered " Yes, we've also been there" and I groaned.
I went to the beach with my girlfriend, her sister, 3 of their girlfriends, and another guy yesterday. The guy kept saying he was hungry, so my girlfriend said "make a sandwich!".
He replied with "I want to, but my hands are all sandy."
I quickly shouted "why do you think they call it a Sand-Wich, dude?!"
Groans, OMG's, and looks of serious physical pain followed.
