Did you hear about the man who couldn't stop blowing his "duck call" whistle?

He was addicted to quack.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kickypie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 03 2022
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How did the Gardener blow a whistle

He used his tulips

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/slashr7
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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I blow into a dog whistle every time I see the sun setting

It's always nice to end the day on a high note

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Majike03
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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Why did the referee blow a whistle on a chicken?

Because it was a fowl

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Elemental_Xenon
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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My boss warned me that I shouldnโ€™t blow the whistle in the office anymore. He gave me one last chance.

But unfortunately, I blew it

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/varun_chakilam
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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A piece of motorway, a dual carriageway and a pavement were having a drink in a pub.

Then a section of green section of tarmac walked in, wearing a day-glo t-shirt, holding 5 glow sticks and blowing a whistle. At once the pavement ducked under the table and hid. The other 2 asked him why he was hiding. "That guy's dangerous" he said, "He's a raving cyclepath!!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/M1n1b1ker
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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I suck at whistling.

That's probably why.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PotBuzz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Josvys
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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Today I bought a wooden whistle...

It didn't work so I took it back to the store and told them, 'it wooden whistle'. So they replaced it with a steel one. So I tried and tried but had to return it and told them 'it steel wooden whistle'. So they finally replaced it with a tin one. I gave it a big blow and happily exclaimed, 'I tin whistle!'

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/indietorch
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 18 2016
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