So my spouse leaned in close and whispered..."Syrup."
"Don't look now, but your wife is sitting right behind us."
They’re just an ear now.
“Sure, I’m all ears.”
sevenup is lemonade
Where do Gerbil go on vacation?
Hamsterdam
Its secret.
"Who's thinking outside the box now Gary?"
...but I couldn't catch them all.
Because it's not aloud.
Letter B
"...has been gathering dirt on us for years!"
it wasn't aloud
She whispered, "They're right behind you..."
A woman is at her husband’s funeral, and asks some friends of her late husband up to the podium to say some things honouring him.
Man 1 walks up to the podium, and says one word: “Plethora.” He steps down and walks by the widow, who says: “Thanks; that means a lot.”
Man 2 now goes up to the podium, and says “Bargain.” Then, as he leaves the podium and walks by the widow, she whispers to him: “Thanks; that means a great deal.”
He walks up to the front desk and says, “Sorry, I forgot what room I’m in, can you help me?”
The receptionist replies, “No problem, sir. This is the lobby.”
I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"
He whispered to his date, “I have toupeé.”
My daughter woke me around 11:50pm last night. My wife and I picked her up from her friend Sally’s birthday party, brought her home and put her to bed. My wife went to the bedroom to read and I fell asleep watching basketball.
“Daddy”, she whispered tugging my shirt.
“Guess how old I’ll be next month?”
“I don’t know, honey.” I said as I slipped on my glasses. “How old?”
She smiled and held up 4 fingers.
It’s now 7:30am. My wife and I have been up with her for almost 8 hours. She still refuses to tell us where she got them.
The guy looked at me in shock and sputtered, "It's just regular porn, you sick perv!"
"What is the second letter of the alphabet?" The teacher asked Ringo. But Ringo wasn't sure.
But because Ringo had found himself in a time of trouble, John came to him and whispered words of wisdom
"Letter B"
The priest then turned to her.
"And has the bride prepared any wedding vowels?"
"So I guess you could say I have a few Twix up my sleeve!"
He was a real neigh sayer.
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
We are playing Scrabble, and she has a Q that she can’t get rid off.
A high schooler wants to ask his best female friend to prom. Because they’ve been friends for so long, he really wants to make his “promposal” special. He talks to his friends, he talks to her friends, and spends days planning the perfect moment. Happily, she says yes!
Over the next couple of months, she sends him different styles and colors of ideas for her dress. He tells honestly that she’s always been beautiful to him, and privately to himself, he is now realizing he has strong feelings for her. He knows he needs to tell her.
The night of the prom, he’s extremely anxious. What if he says something stupid? What if she laughs at him or doesn’t return his feelings? What if she thinks he’s a terrible dancer? All of these thoughts are swirling around in his mind as both their parents fuss over them and make them pose for a million photos.
They get to the prom and he’s even more anxious. It’s dark, it’s loud, it’s crowded. They have to shout to be heard. But she grabs his hand, leads him to the dance floor, and they forget everything and everyone around them. A while later, as the songs have gotten slower, he can feel his heart pounding. He thinks it’s finally the right time. He leans down and whispers the truth in her ear, the truth about having loved her since they met in second grade. She starts to cry happy tears, saying she’s always loved him too, and they kiss. As the song ends and changes to something fast again, he asks her if she’d like to sit and have a drink. She says yes, could he please get her some punch?
He feels like he’s walking on clouds as he goes over to where the drinks and food are laid out. He wants to get back to her right away and hopes he doesn’t have to wait too long at the refreshments table.
He makes his way through the crowd, and is able to get their drinks and return to his waiting love within just a couple of minutes. Because, would you believe it?
There was no punch line.
whispers I think it's becoming scentient
He replied 'I don't know honey, we all whisper when we' re hoarse'
They all looked at me blankly, so I replied, "I didn’t think so, it’s on a knead to dough basis."
It was a brisk Saturday morning when Gerald arrived at “The Café,” a hip coffee shop right down the street. Wearing his large, burly black coat, he stared hesitantly at his watch. Thick glasses adorned his bright blue eyes, his gaze like starlight in a clear night sky. He was waiting, intently twiddling his thumbs. After a buzz of his phone, the message from Dad popped up: “Parking now, be there in 5.”
“Dad,” he whispered under his breath, swiping the message away to once again reveal the image on his lock-screen: a hazy picture of an ultrasound.
Gerald had not spoken to his father for three years. They had had a falling out, over which he did not remember. To him it was a competition of who could wait the longest without calling or sending a text. Who could wait the longest: him without a father, or his father without a son? The idea of friction in the relationship hurt like a thorn; piercing his soul more and more everyday. Until recently, out of the blue, “Dad” popped up on his phone. The rest is history. The rest leads to that Saturday morning, at The Café.
Bang! A car door rang out not too far from where Gerald stood. Gerald saw him. His father wore his tweed jacket like a coat of armor. His strut was now weaker than before they stopped talking; a weakness evident in his cane which supported every right step. His shortly trimmed white beard juxtaposed against his uncut, curly grey hair gave him the image of a wise wizard from a fairytale. He used to be that figure to Gerald, yet instead of a nice ancient being acting like a stone to keep him grounded, Gerald had felt as though his father was a rock pulling him deeper and deeper into a sea of monotony. Holding him back from his true potential. Maybe that was why he left? He still did not know.
“Hello, son,” came the withered voice Gerald had sook for so long, yet now that it had arrived wanted to avoid. “I can’t believe it’s been so long!”
“Yeah,” said Gerald, allowing a smile to grace his face. “Too long!”
Then they hugged, signifying a change in their relationship. Gerald had hoped something could happen to bring them closer together. He did not want to go on wondering what could have been. The regret and sadness weighed him down. Before starting a new family, Gerald wanted to be reacquainted with his own.
After finding their table and sitting down, the two began to discuss life. It was like old friends catching up after a long break. Although it took some time, Gerald began to warm u
... keep reading on reddit ➡"Whisper it some words of encouragement!"
Me: Why are you whispering?
Dad, still whispering: Stop talking so loudly! You are going to wake it up!
Looked at me and said "Pop!..." I assumed he was prompting me to sing, so I finished "goes the weasel!" Instead, he looked at me, smiled, and whispered. "No. Pop goes the waffle."
He got his bedtime toaster waffle snack that night.
Halfway through the play, a floorboard breaks underneath Simon and he falls through. 'Don't worry' Simon's dad whispers to his mum 'it's just a stage he's going through!'
A cowboy rides his horse up to a saloon and ties it outside. He enters the bar, sits down, and orders a whiskey.
Minutes later he hears someone ride off with his horse. He runs outside, and sure enough, his horse is gone.
He goes back in the saloon, fires his gun three times in the air, and says "At the count of ten my horse better be back here. I don't want to do what I had to do in Laredo."
A few minutes later, he sees through the door his horse being returned.
Just before he leaves the saloon, the bartender whispers to him "so what did you have to do in Laredo?"
The cowboy says "I had to walk home".
Who's thinking out of box now Kevin?
But I couldn't catch them all
I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"
She whispered , "They're right behind you..."
I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"
