I didn't mean to gain so much weight.

It happened by snaccident.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
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Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight

There would be mass confusion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alluxin_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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Driving behind a hearse, my wife asked β€œHow fast do you think a hearse can go?”

Me: I don’t think very fast at all

Wife: Why not?!

Me: Well I mean they have all that dead weight in the back...

Literally a conversation we had last night. She actually laughed out loud!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeroWeDeserve87
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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I dadjoked my dad last night

Last night we were celebrating my mom's birthday, and as we talked while playing loteria, my dad was speaking about someone and how nice he was and said "Es que tiene la sangre liviana", so I repplied "how do you know? have you weighed it?". Weirdly, everybody (except my dad) started laughing.

Reference: "Tiene la sangre liviana" literally means "He/she has light (weight) blood" , figuratively means "he/she's easy going".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alexiel17
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2015
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