Why couldn’t they serve communion wafers at the wedding reception?

It was a no host bar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sparklingbeatnik
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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My friend from Paris was the best man at the wedding of a Belgian waffle heir and a Swedish pancake tycoon, but wasn’t allowed to give a speech at the reception.

They knew he’d give a French toast, and they said it wasn’t worth the pain.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/i-kant_even
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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A guy walks into a wedding reception

He goes up to the bartender and asks "Is this the punch-line? "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedCakesYT
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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I recently went to a wedding between two antennas. The ceremony was terrible but the RECEPTION WAS GREAT.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xSalmonella
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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2 antennas got married. The wedding wasn’t much but the reception was great!
πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/urbanoutdoorsnyc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
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Two satellites decided to get married. Wasn't much of a wedding, but that reception was amazing
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rj17141
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
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What do you call someone who has diarrhea at a wedding reception?

A party pooper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shum_Dit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
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At a wedding reception...

" ... now, if everybody could raise their glasses ..."

Mom: "I don't have a glass, but I have a bottle"

Dad: takes glasses off, raises in air

Everybody at table: Facepalms

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tananar
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2014
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At a 60th Wedding Anniversary Reception when...

One of the distant aunts is walking around to each table taking pictures with her iPad for the couple the reception is for. She asks:

"They would like a picture of each table" father in law chimes in... "Just the table or could I be in it too?" She laughs and holds up the iPad for the picture. Father in law sounds out "Great, now she's reading her tablet instead of taking pictures"

Classic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kristopherbanner
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2014
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My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I couldn’t open any of the files.

I always have trouble with emotional attachments.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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I went to a wedding yesterday where two tv antennas got married

The wedding was horrible but the reception was great

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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My dad just told me this one: Two WiFi engineer friends of mine just got married.

The wedding was ok, but the reception was fantastic!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StefanE30325i
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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Had my best man speech for my best friends wedding yesterday and I finished with a great one

"Well this has been a really emotional day, gosh...even the wedding cake is in tiers." Got lots of heavy sighing, laughs and tons of boos....I was very happy with the reception

  • thanks for the upvotes! Never thought I'd see the front page, it's been a pun-ishing wait to get there
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustinioForza
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2016
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I'm still torturing my daughter with awful jokes

http://imgur.com/a/fKQmM

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/geoffevans
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2016
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two antennas met on a roof, feel in love and got married.

the wedding wasn't much to speak of, but the reception was excellent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mailfromphoenix
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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Dad-joked my way to a Pub Quiz victory

Sorry to toot my own horn, but I really liked this.

The pub quiz guy was reading out the answers.

Him: "The answer to question 29 is Niki Lauda"

Me: "Niki what?"

Him: "Lauda"

Me: "NIKI WHAT?"

He gave us half a point for that joke. We won by a quarter of a point. Boom!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elquiche
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2014
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The letters W and Z were getting married, and they invited all the other letters to their wedding...

The only ones who didn't respond were the letters T, X and Y.

So W and Z ordered 23 catered meals: 2 for them and 21 for their guests.

The wedding was great, but there was trouble at the reception. The letter T came, even though she didn't RSVP.

When the meals were being passed out, the chef served the groom (W) and bride (Z) first, then asked everyone else to line up alphabetically to come get their prepared plates. As the last two letters approached the chef, he said "there must be a mistake. I only have one meal left." Just then, T grabbed the last meal, and rudely said to the other letter "Sucks to be U."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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Did you hear about the two TV antennae that got married?

The wedding was nothing to speak of, but the reception was FANTASTIC!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sherzeg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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Haha

I went to a satellite wedding yesterday, it was terrible but I've got to say, the reception was amazing!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MouseCop101
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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Dadjoked the crowd at my brother's wedding.

So at the reception it was my turn to give a speech and it went like this:

"I'm going to start this off with a couple jokes. First, it was a rather emotional wedding right? I mean, my mom was crying, Charity was crying, hell even the cake was in tiers! (many groans throughout the crowd) Second joke, to some marriage is just a word, to others, a sentence."

Besides all the groaning in the crowd I looked at my dad and saw that he was laughing so hard that he turned red and had tears in his eyes, that's how I knew they were good quality dadjokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HomelessFuneral
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2015
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Did you hear about the 2 TV antennaethat got married?

The wedding wasn't that great, but the reception was excellent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CasperWithAJ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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A couple of antennas got married the other day

The wedding wasn't anything special, but the reception was great!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sw00ty
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2017
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I got my wife yesterday

The wedding and reception were simply beautiful

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtremeschemes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2015
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This is a grandfather joke...

My grandparents were at a dinner theater show. The premise is that it was a wedding reception. It was in August. The actor playing the minister was standing next to Grammy and Papa's table, mopping sweat from his forehead. Papa': Good evening, reverend. Are you by chance Presbyterian? Actor: No...why do you ask? Papa': You appear to be "presbyreing"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoodItYoursefl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2017
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Some of the best from my family

At a wedding reception where the chocolates on the table were in nice looking package.

  • Dad: Don't throw that way; I'll take them home.
  • Mom: Great another of one thousand useless items that'll be on a shelf.
  • Dad: Aaaaw, Honey -- I'd never put you on the shelf.

While watching a baseball game:

  • Mom: Are they "boo'ing?" Nobody "boos" anymore.
  • Dad: Hey can I have a blow job?
  • Mom: Shut up.
  • Dad: Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

In regards to meatloaf my mother made:

  • Mom: Sorry the meatloaf isn't that good.
  • Dad: It's Ok. But next time try adding some Alpo.

While eating at relatives' house:

  • Mom: Wow. This is really good! We used to eat like this all the time growing up.
  • Uncle: Really? Where I come from we just call it Hamburger Helper.

In regards to an inappropriately shaped child's toy:

  • Me: Did you buy that at one of those special stores you guys got in San Francisco?
  • Grandfather: What?! Of course not! God no - that's not mine!
  • ...
  • Grandfather: It's too small...

When my brother and I were screwing around instead of helping in the garage:

  • Dad: You know, twice, twice! I thought I got it out quick enough but some must have dribbled back inside.

After listening to a 3 minute voice mail from my mother:

  • Me: What did she want?
  • Dad: You want the long or the short version?
  • Me: Short.
  • Dad: Nothing.
  • Me: Ok long version.
  • Dad: Nothing much.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/that_how_it_be
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2014
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Two antennae met at a bar...

They started dating and eventually fell in love. They decided to get married. The wedding left a lot to be desired, but the reception was great.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2015
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The "Philogelos" is a collection of ancient Roman dad jokes

"Philogelos" or "The Laughter Lover" is a collection of 265 ancient Roman jokes, written in the 4th century AD. Some of them feel... very appropriate for this sub:

  • A boy caught sight of a deep well on his country-estate, and asked if the water was any good. The farmhands assured him that it was good, and that his own parents used to drink from that well. The boy expressed his amazement: "How long were their necks, if they could drink from something so deep!"

  • When a boy was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear-entrance and waited for it.

  • A boy checked in on the parents of a dead classmate. The father was wailing: "O son, you have left me a cripple!" The mother was crying: "O son, you have taken the light from my eyes!" Later, the boy suggested to his friends: "Well, if he were guilty of all that, he probably deserved to die!"

  • A boy came to check in on a friend who was seriously ill. When the man's wife said that he had 'departed', the intellectual replied: "When he arrives back, will you tell him that I stopped by?"

  • A boy had been at a wedding-reception. As he was leaving, he said: "What a wonderful ceremony! I pray that your next marriages are as enjoyable as this one."

  • A man met his friend in the street, who said: "Congratulations! I hear that you've got a new baby boy!" The man replied: "Indeed, but I'm still trying to find the father!"

  • A man saw a eunuch talking with a woman and asked him if she was his wife. When he replied that eunuchs can't have wives, the man asked: "So is she your daughter?"

  • A man was being heckled by a friend: "I had your wife, without paying a dime!" The man replied: "It's my duty as a husband to couple with such a monstrosity. What made you do it?'

  • An incompetent schoolteacher was asked who the mother of Priam was. Not knowing the answer, he said: "Well, I suppose it's polite to call her Ma'am."

  • A man, just back from a trip abroad, went to an incompetent fortune-teller. He asked about his family, and the fortune-teller replied: "Everyone is fine, especially your father." When the man objected that his father had been dead for ten years, the reply came: "Ah, then you must have no clue who your real father is!"

  • A misogynist paid his last respects at the tomb of his dead wife. When someone asked him, "Who has gone to rest?," he replied: "Me, at last!"

You can find more here and [here](http://publishing.y

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AttalusPius
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2016
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Teacher dad joke

Some random teacher started talking to my class and telling tons of dad jokes, the only one I remember is:

Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The wedding was terrible, but the reception was amazing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fizzlinq
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2015
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One of my dad's favorite jokes. Did you hear about the radio towers that got married?

The wedding was boring but the reception was great!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1337tacosalad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2013
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Something something Rabbit ears?

Did you hear the one about the two Antennas who fell in love? The wedding wasn't a pretty sight but at least the reception was great.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/norightanswer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2014
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Two antennas meet on a rooftop and decided to get married

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/soaraf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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Did you hear about the satellites that got married?

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!

πŸ‘︎ 649
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datboifritz113
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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Two satelites decided to get married

The wedding wasn't much but the reception was incredible

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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Two satellites decided to get married

The wedding wasn't that good but the reception-amazing

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_Saying
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married.

The wedding wasn't much. But the reception was incredible!

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/captainhawx23
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Two radio antennas fell in love and got married

The wedding wasn’t much but the reception was incredible!

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wallabychamp
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Two satellites got married

Two satellites got married. The wedding was terrible but the reception was amazing.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwUnforgettable
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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Two antennas got married last weekend

It wasn’t much of a wedding but the reception was wonderful.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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Two satellites got married

The wedding was bad but the reception was pretty good

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tempsilon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Two satellites got married...

the wedding wasn’t great, but the reception was incredible.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhaddupNerd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2017
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two antennas got married

the wedding was ok but the reception was great

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whoflungpoomunkey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the two radio antennae that got married?

I went to the wedding, it was terrible..

...but the reception was great

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yarroborray
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?

The wedding wasn't that great but the reception was awesome!

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/enderval
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2017
🚨︎ report
Two Antennas Get Married....

The wedding was ok but the reception was amazing

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notadweeb
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2017
🚨︎ report
two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding sucked but the reception was incredible

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeezy7595
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2017
🚨︎ report
Two TV antennae got married...

...The wedding was shocking, but the reception was great!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bon7bon2000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2015
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the two antenna that got married?

The wedding was okay, but the reception was awesome!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AirborneRanger122
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2015
🚨︎ report

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