Sign at a convenience store:Our credit manager is Helen Waite...
If you want credit go to Helen Waite
May the 5th be with you...wait, Uhm.
I am at the waiting room of the doctor’s office, wondering when my girlfriend’s checkup will be over.
Sitting at the Doc of the Bae, wasting time.
If you think Thursdays are depressing, wait until 2 more days. Why?
Because it will be a sadder day
This is the... wait, what?
I'm hiding in my Finnish Neighbours shed, waiting to jump out and surprise him.
It's like a sauna in here.
I was standing in line waiting to have my hair cut, when I noticed that no one had started a fire yet.
I thought, "This is a shit barber queue."
Why do doctors always make you wait so long?
Because they know you're patient
Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you.
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?
Guys, today was my first day in the navy and I felt so lost!
A monkey was sitting on the train tracks waiting for a train.
A monkey was sitting on the train tracks waiting for a train. When a train ran over its tail the monkey said, "It won't be long now!"
Thousands of people are waiting outside of Nadame Tussauds in London
They are waiting to get waxinated...
Edit: misspelled Madame, but can't change the title
Ive been waiting for one entire year for this moment
My therapist says that I second guess every decision that I ever make.
My dog just lazes around all day waiting for his next meal to be delivered.
Wait a minute . . . . . . . . . .
While waiting for a school-related live stream, me and my friend decided to throw words at each other and make puns out of them. This is one of my most proudest puns.
Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. That's it.
My kids came out of school and told my partner they have made cards for her for Mother's Day. I asked for a card, but they said I had to wait until Father's Day. I told my boy I had made a card for him, and he could have it the day after tomorrow,
Wait, is that not what you meant?
Can’t wait for Summer to be over
It’s going to be Autumn
Edit: horrible spelling error
I’ve waited five days and tried three times to post, Two men walk into a bar
Wait, I think I got the whole dating thing wrong
I'm tired of waiting for my PA to finish my return
It's really taxing my nerves.
Anyone out there interested in buying my DeLorean ? Great condition, low mileage..
.. really only driven from time to time.
Three unwritten rules of life.
Apparently the COVID vaccine causes constipation
When I got mine the other day they told me I had to wait 3 weeks to get number 2.
What did the 0 say to the 8?
I waited all afternoon to get my Covid vaccine in our small remote village, by the time it was my turn, they were administering them by candlelight...
I’m really not sure how effective they are, seems as if they are a shot in the dark.
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches?
Cuz then it would be a foot
The nurse tells the doctor: "There's an invisible man in the waiting room."
The doctor replies: "Tell him I can't see him now."
I can’t wait till my Wife and I have a our first baby.
I’ll hand them to her and say “Here’s the fruits of your labor.”
My dad constantly tells me I'll never amount to anything because I always procrastinate.
I'll show him. Just you wait.
Edit: Goodness, that blew up. My first awards, too!
I want to send out individual replies to thank everyone who gave me an award. I might do it later.
Last Thursday my son was moping around and I told him, if you think Thursdays are sad, just wait two more days. He asked why?
Because it'll be sadder day.
To all ya'll in Texas without tap water
Can't wait to see Liam Neeson's new film..
'Taken::::Out of context.'
Ebay is so useless
I searched for lighters but ti only came up whith 14,852 matches
Is this sub still active?
Haven't seen anyone post all year!
(Happy New Year from Australia everyone!)
I arrived early to the restaurant. The manager said do you mind waiting a bit? I said no.
Good, he said. Take these drinks to table nine.
What has 5 fingers, but isn't your hand?
Daddy, look! Those turtles are playing piggyback! Son, I was going to wait till you were older for this talk but...
Those are tortoises , not turtles.
Accidentally drank invisible ink
I'm at the hospital waiting to be seen.
It’s too late to make Suez Canal jokes now
Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you.
Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you
I walked into a bar and there was a whole line of people waiting to take a swing at me.
I guess you could call that a punch line
Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
