One takes its time while the other one is Russian
His name is Ras Putin.
Quit Putin him down!
Disputin.
He really can see Russia from his house.
Heβs Russian!
Crimea River.
Sheβs always Russian me.
He's a large hadron colluder.
There was no poop. She was just Putin.
Crimea River.
Generally uttered while assessing my eight-month-old twins' diaper situations. Because you never know if they just tooted or shatβ¦
He wanted recognition for all of the effort he Putin.
Vladimir eating a bean burrito.
Facepalm dad.
He also had one and I will quote:
"What do Dateline, Anderson Cooper 360 & 20/20 have in common?"
"I don't know dad. Can we just have lunch?"
"The first two are news shows and the third is what your mother drank for breakfast....Get it? Like MadDog 20/20."
Then, arm to God, he went
You know why Vladimir keeps getting elected as the president of mother Russia?
Because he be Putin alot of effort! Badum tsss
I told her she could call meβVladimir Putitinβ.
Vladimir Poutine
Vladimir Poutine
Vladimir Poutine
Vladimir Tootin.
The bar tender says, "What can I do for ya eh?" To which the man replies, "How's aboot a pint of lager?" The bartender hands him his beer. The man then asks, pointing at a crying Russian man at the opposite end of the bar, "What's the deal with him?" "Him? Oh, that's just Vladimir Putin."
Vladimir Gluten
I am working on a set of signs for a roller derby bout. the team theme is russian army and I am trying to make propaganda like signs for each of the big russian leaders from the past.
I have:
Quit Stalin, Bring on the Derby
Putin on the Hits
Looking for some for:
-Vladimir Lenin
-Leonid Brezhnev
-Nikita Khrushchev
-Mikhail Gorbachev
Anyone got anything?
This is an homage to my buddy Allen who is a master at puns in general and of puns of the antanaclasis variety in particular.
Allen likes to write fan fiction for Vladimir Nabokov's novel "Lolita". In Allen's version, the young girl tries to seduce an older man with hacky knock knock jokes. One example: "Hey big boy, I want to whisper something in your ear... Did you know Knock-Knock Jokes may result in swollen knuckles?"
The copyright holders have requested he take the jokes out. They said to knock off knock-off knuckle knock-knocks in Nabokov knock-offs.
Me: "Hey, it's Vladimir the wood pecker!" Group of friends: "Why Vladimir?"
"Because he won't stop putin' his beak in other bird's trees."
Collective groan achieved.
Because Vladimir Putin.
Vladimir Gluten
Vladimir Poutine
Vladimir Poutine.
