Vladimir Puddin
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schmepsi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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Vladimir pudding
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/solid_salad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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What is the difference between a stopwatch and a man named Vladimir?

One takes its time while the other one is Russian

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCHZY
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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Have you heard about Vladimir Putin’s Jamaican cousin?

His name is Ras Putin.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_spill_things
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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What did Vladimir Putin's followers tell his opposers?

Quit Putin him down!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyfavoriteThings0
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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What do you call it when Vladimir Putin is arguing with someone?

Disputin.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nazisonmoon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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Vladimir Putin would make a great Vice President.

He really can see Russia from his house.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
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Why does Vladimir Putin always look so stressed?

He’s Russian!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brimaaz
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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What is Vladimir Putin's favorite song?

Crimea River.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stanleykubrick747
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
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You hear about Donald Trump smashing sub atomic particles together with Vladimir Putin?

He's a large hadron colluder.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ooooohpippa
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
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My daughter had some rumbly noises going on in her diaper while she was eating her snack today. Afterward I checked her diaper. Bracing myself, I was surprised to find she pulled a Vladimir

There was no poop. She was just Putin.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CowboyFromSmell
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2017
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What did Vladimir Putin say to all the angry Ukrainians?

Crimea River.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DidlyDeePotato
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2015
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Are you Vladimir Tootin' or Vladimir Pootin'?

Generally uttered while assessing my eight-month-old twins' diaper situations. Because you never know if they just tooted or shat…

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/platetone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2015
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Vladimir Poutine imgur.com/EiFDEuL
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ioannescarolus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2014
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Why did Vladimir take a week off of work?

He wanted recognition for all of the effort he Putin.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whitesammy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2015
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My dad's from today: What comes before Vladimir Putin?

Vladimir eating a bean burrito.


Facepalm dad.

He also had one and I will quote:


"What do Dateline, Anderson Cooper 360 & 20/20 have in common?"

"I don't know dad. Can we just have lunch?"

"The first two are news shows and the third is what your mother drank for breakfast....Get it? Like MadDog 20/20."

Then, arm to God, he went

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lsirius
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2013
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So this is what i came up with atleast i think I did!

You know why Vladimir keeps getting elected as the president of mother Russia?

Because he be Putin alot of effort! Badum tsss

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amanhasnonameee
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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I asked my wife if she wanted me to use my β€œsexy Russian voice” during sexy time.

I told her she could call me”Vladimir Putitin”.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mstaJ
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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What do you call an ex director of the KGB served with gravy and cheese curds?

Vladimir Poutine

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrunkRussian23
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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What do you call french fries, cheese curd, and vodka sauce?

Vladimir Poutine

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReadinStuff2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
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Who is the tastiest Russian?

Vladimir Poutine

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Valdagast
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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What do you call a Farting Russian?

Vladimir Tootin.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chicken_L1ttle
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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A man walks into a bar in Canada...

The bar tender says, "What can I do for ya eh?" To which the man replies, "How's aboot a pint of lager?" The bartender hands him his beer. The man then asks, pointing at a crying Russian man at the opposite end of the bar, "What's the deal with him?" "Him? Oh, that's just Vladimir Putin."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Memedian
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2016
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What do you call a Russian baker?

Vladimir Gluten

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frodoshoots
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2017
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Please help me with Puns related to Russian Leaders (and Roller Derby)

I am working on a set of signs for a roller derby bout. the team theme is russian army and I am trying to make propaganda like signs for each of the big russian leaders from the past.

I have:

Quit Stalin, Bring on the Derby

Putin on the Hits

Looking for some for:

-Vladimir Lenin

-Leonid Brezhnev

-Nikita Khrushchev

-Mikhail Gorbachev

Anyone got anything?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimdier
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2014
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knock knock jokes and Nabokov's "Lolita"

This is an homage to my buddy Allen who is a master at puns in general and of puns of the antanaclasis variety in particular.

Allen likes to write fan fiction for Vladimir Nabokov's novel "Lolita". In Allen's version, the young girl tries to seduce an older man with hacky knock knock jokes. One example: "Hey big boy, I want to whisper something in your ear... Did you know Knock-Knock Jokes may result in swollen knuckles?"

The copyright holders have requested he take the jokes out. They said to knock off knock-off knuckle knock-knocks in Nabokov knock-offs.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeSaintClair
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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So there's a wood pecker in my backyard...

Me: "Hey, it's Vladimir the wood pecker!" Group of friends: "Why Vladimir?"

"Because he won't stop putin' his beak in other bird's trees."

Collective groan achieved.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2015
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What do you call a Russian baker?

Vladimir Gluten

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frodoshoots
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2017
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What do you call a Russian leader covered in gravy and cheese curds?

Vladimir Poutine

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/popfilms
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2016
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What do you call Russian French fries w gravy and cheese curds?

Vladimir Poutine.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigNorte
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2016
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