She has everything, including the kitchen zinc
Talk about irony
Have you ever thought about that?
No, because all you think about is yourself.
Test them out for Crickets. Their bone might soften.
2? 12? 34? Whatever number you may have in mind, add 45 to it. Because the answer is always fortify more
B1
CARBS!
Studdering
B12
Camino acids
They're all B9.
Me: My wife yesterday was all on my case. "You'll never get a car made out of spaghetti to work!" she says. Man - y'all should have seen her face when I drove pasta.
Friend 1: Oof - seriously. You should see if you can get supplements for that bad-joke problem.
Me: Maybe I'll try some vitamins. I'll grab some B2, B3, B5, and B6. Gonna skip B4 - that's in the past.
Friend 1: If I stop setting these up will you just, you know, stop?
Me: I tried Omega3 before, but the benefits were Super Fish Oil.
Friend 2: How do I unsubscribe from this group text?
Me: Maybe I can order some Vitamin C from a Mexican website. That means "Vitamin Yes" in Spanish, right?
Friend 1: Dead. I'm dead here. You've killed me. And humor.
Me: Actually my doctor said I should be eating more citrus fruits. Oranges, specifically. He also said I needed to drop some pounds. He said it was the "Weight and C" approach.
Friend 2: You're looking these up.
Me: Not all of them. I mean, I did get some of them from this big dictionary I have. It's pun-abridged.
Friend 1: If I had to grade these jokes, you'd get a Vitamin D. That's a 1.0 GPA.
Me: I'm going to have to put those grades up for adoption. I don't think I'll be able to raise them.
Friend 1: D-
Me: Maybe I should look into becoming a marine biologist as a career. Since my grades are so far below "C" level.
Friend 2: JFC. Is there any way to make it stop?
Me: Nope! I'm PUN-STOPPABLE!
In all fairness, I had heard most of these before (I have loved puns since college) but this was the first time I've gotten a good long run in a single pass. Also this is nearly-verbatim. I removed a couple identifying things and re-ordered a few of the messages for clarity of response.
Because it’s an anti-HISStamine!
They’re Lifesavers.
The banana said “I gotta split”
The orange then replied “Vitamin C ya later”
Dad: “It says concentrate.”
You can't make a vitamin.
It has ribo-FLAVIN!
It’s the weight and c approach I guess
Because there was C all around them
Plenty of vitamin sea
I told her it's complex.
I said it must be my weekend immune system.
Bloody big hands
He wasn't getting enough Son
Vitamin see!
... the wounds were super fish oil.
B2 or not B2, that was the question.
From blood oranges.
