9 Hilarious Vigiles Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

this joke popped out of my mouth today. I'm proud of it. I was leaving to drive to the store and my wife said "stay vigilant out there"

I said "I'm so vigilant, people are already holding vigils for me"

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👤︎ u/TheRichTookItAll

📅︎ Aug 19 2022

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I was out of town when my wife gave birth to our first child. In my absence my sister took it upon herself to sit with my wife and be there for her throughout the whole process. My sister never left my wife's side, it was almost like she was sitting a vigil...

right up until the moment she became a vigil-auntie.

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👤︎ u/surveygod

📅︎ Mar 21 2022

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Viagra Shipment Stolen from the Local Pharmacy

Police are looking for a pair of hardened criminals.

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👤︎ u/RighteousVengeance

📅︎ Nov 02 2022

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In times like these, laughter is essential. I don't have much, but for the ever vigilant mod team and you, the subscribers of /r/DadJokes, please allow me to offer this open letter...

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter

📅︎ Jun 12 2020

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Be vigilant

I hate to do this about a local business but feel you deserve to know. 😕

** Be aware **

We ordered a Chinese takeaway from a local place (I'm not going to name them) I'd just been to pick it up and as I were driving home, I heard the bags rustling and moving!!! I thought what the hell is that? Has something got in the bag? I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out

I was driving so I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the prawn crackers!

I thought its got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down ...

And there it was ...

... A Peeking Duck!!!

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👤︎ u/beanieboombaby

📅︎ Sep 11 2019

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My mom’s sister runs the local candlelight services for the community

She is a vigil-aunty.

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👤︎ u/Samwyzh

📅︎ May 18 2021

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What do you call it when all your mother's sisters gather at a funeral to avenge your death?

Vigil aunties.

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👤︎ u/shoppingcartoast

📅︎ Aug 09 2019

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Hey Cousin Bruce! Did you hear that my mom goes out and fights crime?

Bruce: Yeah! She's the best vigilAUNTIE out there.

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👤︎ u/mynickname86

📅︎ Oct 10 2019

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why fishes have their eyes wide open?

they must be vigilant, something fishy around there...

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👤︎ u/SAIdriss

📅︎ May 08 2018

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