I was bitten by a venomous snake. Fortunately, my uncle's wife gave me a bunch of money, cookies, and gifts.

I was glad to have the auntie dote.

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📅︎ Feb 07 2019
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My dad had to have surgery on his leg due to a venomous snake bite.

[removed]

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📅︎ Sep 07 2019
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What do you call a depressed man with a robotic arm?

A sighborg.

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👤︎ u/the_houser
📅︎ Nov 10 2020
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One of my boy scouts asked me, "Sir, is this snake poisonous?"

I said, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all."

So the boy picks up the snake which bites him, and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror.

I continued, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."

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📅︎ Jul 28 2017
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Grandpa told me this one every time I saw him.

There are two snakes. The first snake asks the second snake, "Are we poisonous?"

The second snake asks, "Why?"

The first snake answers, "I just bit my lip."

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👤︎ u/Nettius2
📅︎ Oct 17 2016
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