Valium Puns

A list of puns related to "Valium"

What do you get when you give five doses of valium to a lizard?

A calmer calmer calmer calmer calmer chameleon.

👍︎ 3k
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👤︎ u/Middlerun
📅︎ Apr 23 2017
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What do you call a psychic on Valium?

A happy medium.

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👤︎ u/Byzantium63
📅︎ Dec 13 2019
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I had to get my pet lizard some Valium as he's been a bit stressed out lately.

Now he's a calmer calmer calmer calmer calmer chameleon.

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👤︎ u/kaythor85
📅︎ Nov 14 2019
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I think my window air conditioner needs a Valium.

It keeps hyperventilating.

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👤︎ u/readwritethink
📅︎ Nov 07 2018
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My friend who hasn't got long left to live says she's going to change her name from Pamela to Patricia if her Valium doesn't work.

Hopefully she'll Diazepam.

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Nov 13 2018
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Dr, will I be able to play the piano after the procedure?

Sitting with my father in the pre op room before he gets stints put into his arteries. Dr is talking to him about what they will do and various risks etc. Dad: Dr, will I be able to play the piano after the procedure? Dr: Yes, I see no reason why this procedure would stop you from doing that. Dad: Great! I've never knew how to play before! Then he continues to giggle and laugh as the dr continues to go over his procedure, and they didn't even give him the Valium yet.

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👤︎ u/ThisJustin77
📅︎ Jul 27 2017
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