What did one painkiller say to the other?

"You're what I'm aspirin to be."

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📅︎ Aug 03 2020
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I find that computer programming is a great painkiller.

It involves a lot of codeine.

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📅︎ May 03 2020
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Why are there no painkillers in the jungle?

Because the parrots eat ‘em all.

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👤︎ u/Kimosabbe
📅︎ Mar 06 2019
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What did the painkiller scream when it stubbed its toe..

Ibuprofanities!

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👤︎ u/hindza
📅︎ May 05 2019
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What's an English Teacher's favorite painkiller?

Ibeproofreadin'

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👤︎ u/ahughes957
📅︎ Jul 25 2017
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One painkiller to another

Two painkillers were talking. One says "hey Finlay, I'm a much better painkiller than you". Finlay says "why do you say that?". The first one says "I be pro, Fin!"

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📅︎ Jul 13 2016
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I've had whiskey dick when I drink too much. But recently I got painkillers after a visit to the dentist...

and I got poppycock. What nonsense is that!?

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📅︎ Oct 03 2014
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A knight that's specializes in sexual positions.

Sir Cum Stances

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📅︎ Aug 15 2014
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Dad joking at the ER after a clavicle fracture

Doctor: Do you want any painkillers? Have you got anything at home?

Me: We've got some paracetamol

Doctor: Would you like anything a bit stronger?

Dad chimes in: I'm sure it couldn't hurt...

He was a bit dismayed the doctor didn't catch it until I started laughing.

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👤︎ u/Charata
📅︎ Mar 09 2014
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Why are there no painkillers in the jungle?

Because the parrots eat 'em all

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📅︎ Jan 09 2019
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Why are there no painkillers in the jungle?

Because the parrots-eat-them-all!

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📅︎ Aug 21 2018
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