Vainakh Puns

Decades and a month ago, today, the entire population of Chechen and Ingush people had summoned to local party building and the plan to liquidate the whole Chechen-Ingush Republic had taken into act. The commanders of the operation was the infamous Lavrentiy Pavlovich Beria and the orders were given by the Beria and approved by Josef Stalin. The reason of the deportation was announced as the treason and mass collaboration with the fascists although there were thousand of Chechens and Ingushes died fighting with the fascists no the front-line, and many of them had became the war heroes, including the very famous ones like Abdulkhakim Ismailov who is one of the men that raised the Soviet flag over the Reichstag or Khanpasha Nuradilov, who had been credited with over 920 confirmed kills when he died at Stalingrad, and officially there were tens of thousand of Chechens and Ingushes fighting at the ranks of the Red Army, and Nazis were never had managed to reach to the Chechnya, and the except the ones that fought the Nazis, the whole population had never seen a Nazi at their entire lives.

The entire population had been deported, and excluding a few that managed to escape to the mountains for seeking revenge, and the men, women and children (who were consisting nearly a half of the deported population) had rounded up and put into the cattle cars just in a few days and they were deported to the various locations from their homeland, which took some weeks while they were only allowed to take three days of worth food. Thousands had died everyday during the deportation and their bodies were simply tossed out of the cars, while the reason of the death were not just due to the harsh conditions, like the massacre of the entire population of the aul Khaibakh, 700 people including the elderly, women and children, by burning them alive because it was impossible to convoy them to the cars due to the snowstorm, and any resistance to the deportation had met by slaughters.

Soviet numbers conclude a figure that one third of the entire Vainakh population had been perished during the exile, while other researches do come up with numbers that is equivalent of the 50-60% of the entire population.

Not just people had been killed but also Chechen-Ingush Republic was removed from the maps, the population hadn't been allowed to return their homes and their homeland until it was allowed after Nikita Khrushchev became the First Secretary, the parts of the Chechen-Ingush homeland was

58 years ago, today, tensions between indigenous peoples of the Chechnya-Ingushetia, of course Chechen and Ingushes, and the settlers had turned into ethnic riots with the spark of a Russian and an Ingush fighting because of an Ingush girl. Same riots ended with a period of ethnic clashes between Slavic settlers and indigenous Chechen-Ingush nations that only calmed down a decade later. As the background; tensions were due to the Chechens and Ingushes being allowed to return to their homeland after they were entirely cleansed from their motherland with the 1944 mass deportation and genocide. With the mass deportation, whole Checheno-Ingushetia was not only totally cleansed from the indigenous populations but also all Chechen&Ingush traces were been subjected to destruction, including historical texts and buildings, old books written in Vainakh languages and even cemeteries, while gravestones were being smashed and the stones were being used as road materials or construction materials by the settlers. The whole Vainakhia was cleansed from even traces of the indigenous population, names of the nations were erased from encyclopedias, many ancient settlements were erased from the maps, places were renamed to Russian ones and Checheno-Ingush ASSR was demolished. Of course, the land was not there to be a wasteland, so some parts were gifted to the North Ossetia and Dagestan, while the emptied houses were given to various groups, who were mainly Russians and Russian Cossacks, Ossetians especially in the Prigorodny region, Avars, Armenians, Kumyks. There were also some others, who were not with significant population. All the national and ethnic groups, except two nations, Mountain Jews and Meshketian who has refused to settle in others emptied houses, settled in the houses, and took over the lands, with the jobs once were Vainakh ones. Things stayed as they were in once Chechnya and Ingushetia, until the Stalin's death and Khrushchev's famous secret speech about the Stalin. In 1957, 4 years after the Stalin era, restrictions over the Ingushes and Chechens, and their families has lifted, and many has returned to their motherland voluntarily. In the same year, Chechen-Ingush ASSR was restored again. These were all good but there were major problems like, there was no real plan for resettlement, no rehabilitation or not any kind of aid to anyone. Even loans were not provided. The agriculture was in it's worst since settlers were not good at the processing the Va

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

Decades ago, yesterday, the entire population of Chechen and Ingush people had summoned to local party building and the plan to liquidate the whole Chechen-Ingush Republic had taken into act. The commanders of the operation was the infamous Lavrentiy Pavlovich Beria and the orders were given by the Beria and approved by Josef Stalin. The reason of the deportation was announced as the treason and mass collaboration with the fascists although there were thousand of Chechens and Ingushes died fighting with the fascists no the front-line, and many of them had became the war heroes, including the very famous ones like Khanpasha Nuradilov, who had been credited with over 920 confirmed kills when he died at Stalingrad, and officially there were tens of thousand of Chechens and Ingushes fighting at the ranks of the Red Army, and Nazis were never had managed to reach to the Chechnya, and the except the ones that fought the Nazis, the whole population had never seen a Nazi at their entire lives.

The entire population had been deported, and excluding a few that managed to escape to the mountains for seeking revenge, and the men, women and children (who were consisting nearly a half of the deported population) had rounded up and put into the cattle cars just in a few days and they were deported to the various locations from their homeland, which took some weeks while they were only allowed to take three days of worth food. Thousands had died everyday during the deportation and their bodies were simply tossed out of the cars, while the reason of the death were not just due to the harsh conditions, like the massacre of the entire population of the aul Khaibakh, 700 people including the elderly, women and children, by burning them alive because it was impossible to convoy them to the cars due to the snowstorm, and any resistance to the deportation had met by slaughters.

Soviet numbers conclude a figure that one third of the entire Vainakh population had been perished during the exile, while other researches do come up with numbers that is equivalent of the 50-60% of the entire population.

Not just people had been killed but also Chechen-Ingush Republic was removed from the maps, the population hadn't been allowed to return their homes and their homeland until it was allowed after Nikita Khrushchev became the First Secretary, the parts of the Chechen-Ingush homeland was granted to the other republics, including the Prigorodny District which was gifted to the North Osse