What’s it called when a tree finishes uploading photon particles into its system??

Photo-s-in-the-sys

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πŸ‘€︎ u/misteramuk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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What do you call an uploaded cow

Processed meat

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Only way to upload jokes here

Re-eddit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mdchris19
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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If Post Malone uploads a photo of himself on social media...

Does he therefore Post Malone?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/holywhitefang1
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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Upload laxatives, get a download
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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Maria cannot upload baby Jesus picture to Instagram...

...because there's no stable internet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/risanthy
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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If you upload 1000 pictures on Instagram..

.. is it like uploading one picture in Instakilogram?

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
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Hey dad, I just uploaded all your photos to the cloud.

dad runs outside and looks up at the sky WHICH ONE?!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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My friend uploaded a joke on Instagram

I wonder where he Reddit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aryan_Modi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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Kamehameheiiiiil. (OC, 9gag logo cause i uploaded it there a long time ago and lost it)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryzexen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
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Verily I gave unto him a goblet, and forthwith hailed him by the name he hath previously declared to me...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/masterpososo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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I uploaded a video of me having fever.

It was viral.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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A dadjoke w/o the d
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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Redditor uploads image of the creator of the super soaker, he shows up in the comments!

https://i.redd.it/1l6mg6iqioh11.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ERRBODYGetAligned
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
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I just had the most manly craft beer at my Israeli restaurant.

It was called He-Brew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/proborc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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Hey, what would you do if I caught the virus?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SamwiseSHJ
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
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What do you call a dinosaur that’s does too much CrossFit ?

A MegaSOREus Rex !

My daughter hit me with this one this am on the way to school !

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WinterDad32
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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Chatting about when Fitbits upload data to the website...

And I said "So when does it sync?"

Dad: "When you put it in water."

Urgh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kupboard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2015
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My friend uploaded a picture of him travelling in Australia, I could feel his eye roll from home

http://imgur.com/wiQHuxK

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jdoyler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2015
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If you don't get this post I might blow a fusilli.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Randyotter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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I don't know the best part about Switzerland.

But the flag is a big plus.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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The most inappropriate dad joke I've ever made

In high school, I was in yearbook 5th period and I went down to the closet where the cameras were stored with some other people so we could bring them to the computer lab to upload the pictures.

I grabbed two cameras, slung both around my shoulders, one resting on each hip. I put a jacket on over them, and walked up to my friends. Opening the jacket and putting my hands over the cameras I said, "Look guys, I'm gonna shoot up the school."

Got some weird looks and nervous chuckles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hman7720
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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Are leaked images allowed here?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shurdddd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
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My wife and I were stuck behind a van advertising granite countertops.

Wife: Those look good. I'd kill to have our counters redone.

Me: Sure...but then you'd be taking life for granite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VictoriousBadger
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2016
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I painted Paris with my eyes closed
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sketchanderase
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
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What do you call a gay milk man?

Dairy Queen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_daddy_J_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2017
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Finally found a good post for this sub Reddit
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dillsey11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
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Muscleman Mussulman
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2014
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I have 2 coins in my hand with a total value of 6 cents, and one of the coins isn't a nickel.

The other one is.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
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When you're trying to book a vacation rental for you dad, but it's May the 4th.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NormalBellCurve
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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You know why environmentalism is said to be green?

Because the earth is sick of the hypocrisy of the protesters who claim to be defending it.

https://i0.wp.com/climatechangedispatch.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/cartoon-earth-day.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
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Might need a plumber. My fridge sprung a leek. m.imgur.com/JQOZdbd
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarahsugarplum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2014
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The octopus is bolstering his professional network

By uploading his SeaV into InkedIn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wstopak
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2017
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Did you hear? The unemployment rate among doritos tacos is higher than other tacos!

Apparently one in three was fired last year.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
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Dad Joke. Cyanide and Happiness style imgur.com/7qbcB2M
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajl_mo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2013
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If Al Gore tried to be a musician, his album would be called.

Algorithims.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roper1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2012
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jhogger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2015
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Best part of vacation

Came home from a week vacation and uploaded 50 photos street lamps for everyone to see.

They were all the highlights of the trip.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mfitzy87
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2018
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Sein Wave
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πŸ‘€︎ u/toast888
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2013
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Stephen Hawking is actually pretty funny..

But I don't think he could do standup.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/k-smackerel
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2015
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My dad is pretty proud of this one.

Dad: Hey Shinynewbike.

Me: Yeah pops.

Dad: I made up a new word.

Me: And what word is that?

Dad: Plagiarism.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shinynewbike
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2014
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Isn't the tube that carries sperm from the testicle essentially doing pretty much the same job as the testicle itself?

Nope. There's a vas deferens.

(For those who skipped HS Biology - NSFW)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ddesla2
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2018
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