They make anyone who disagrees with them disappear
His dick tater ship didnt last very long.
They're all girls, otherwise, they'd be uncles :)
An elephant
... because of the short arms
A tiny dick-tator.
(I'm a new father, gearing up for future embarrassment)
The moth drops down into the nearest chair and says โWhatโs the problem?โ
Moth says โI donโt even know where to start. First of all, my boss is a vicious tyrant who gets off on the petty torments he puts me through day in and day out, and Iโm too spineless to stand up to him, so I just take it and Iโve gradually come to hate myself for it. Also, every morning I wake up to the same prune-face old crone to whom I pledged my vows so many years ago. I used to love her, but that love has become like some sun-festering beached whale trying to die. We lost our daughter last year to one of the bitterest, coldest winters weโve ever had to face in this region. Isnโt it funny, doc, how all the prayer circles and charity drives in the world amount to pretty much nothing in the face of that cold, impartial face of winter, that bleak, pounding, harsh fist of a callous environment, carrying on with its machinations without regard to our lives, loves, hopes and dreams? Isnโt that hysterical, Doc? Oh and then thereโs my son. Doc, I donโt love him anymore. I donโt know what it is but I look in his eyes and I see that same harried look of gutless cowardice that I see when I stare at my own face in the mirror. If I wasnโt such a coward, Doc, I know Iโd be able to scrape together enough pride to grab that cocked and loaded shotgun I keep by the bedside table, and just run amok and put an end to this grim facade once and for all. I start with the wife, then the boy of course before putting the barrell in my own mouth. Believe you me, Doc, Iโd be doing the world a favor. I have nothing to look forward to but a continuation of this spiraling black hole that is my life, this existential cesspool that is the perpetuation of my lingering skid-mark on society. I despise people yet I crave their approval. Iโm judgemental yet I care about nothing. Iโm bitter, hateful and afraid. Iโm alive yet I feel like the walking dead. This is it, Doc: I am a living, breathing, disease.โ
The doctor stares at him for a while then finally says โJeez, Moth, you definitely have some problems. But Iโm a podiatrist. You need a psychiatrist. Whyโd you come in here?โ
The moth says,โYour light was on.โ
A tyrant-osaurus rex!
Friend: I have to go out and buy a new tire for my car tomorrow.
Me: That sounds tiring.
Friend: groan Yeah, it will cost $200.
Me: Why are you buying from a tyrant?
Long pause
Friend: I'm not even going to respond to that.
(A few minutes later)
Me: I'm sorry about the jokes, but you made it too easy to keep them rolling.
Friend: Please stop.
