A captain and his crew. (Hopefully hasnโ€™t been posted before lol)

Once upon a time there was a pirate captain who was the most amazing best captain a crew could ever ask for. His crew loved him more than anything and would do absolutely anything for him.

One day as they were sailing, a crew member In the crows nest shouts, โ€œone ship off the port side!โ€ Immediately the captain yells at his crew, โ€œMen! Bring me my red shirt!โ€

Slightly confused, the men hesitate for a second and then hurry off to bring the captain his red shirt. Amazingly they win the battle!

The men are so happy and thankful their captain brought them safely through the battle they donโ€™t even care why the captain wanted his red shirt.

A few months of sailing some more, again the man in the crows nest yells, โ€œTwo ships off the port side!โ€ Quickly the captain screams, โ€œMen! Bring me my red shirt!โ€ The crew doesnโ€™t hesitate this time to get him his red shirt and what do you know? They win this battle too!!

The crew is astounded at their captains awesomeness!!! They honestly could not find anyone better. This time though the crew stops a moment and asks the captain, โ€œWhy do you always have us bring you your red shirt?โ€

The captain replies, โ€œWell men, if I get stabbed the blood will blend into my red shirt and it will look like Iโ€™m not hurt so that you will all fight as hard as if I were still alive.โ€

The men canโ€™t believe what they hear! How could they be so lucky as to have a captain so incredibly smart and courageous??!!

Two seconds later, โ€œTWENTY SEVEN SHIPS OFF THE PORT SIDE!!!!!!!โ€

Calmly, with an even tone, the captain says, โ€œMen, bring me my brown pants.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RecTym
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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My favorite Dad Joke recently

Why do Norwegian military boats and submarines have bar codes on their hulls?

Two answers:

So they can make sure they can a fjord them

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/wealthedge
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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Some highlights from our family trip last weekend

Oldest son (at a restaurant): do they accept dogs here? Me: no, it's cash or card

Waitress (bringing our after dinner drinks): I have three ports. Me: it was supposed to be two ports and a starboard

Youngest son (while we were driving): look, a cow... nevermind, it's gone Me: yes, we mooooved on...

Me: those plants around the redwoods are ferns Oldest son: they grow really close to the trees Me: yeah, they're really frondly...

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/confibulator
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 23 2017
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