I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But thatβs comparing apples to oranges
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
And boy are my arms legs.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
BamBOO!
Theyβre on standbi
A play on words.
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
Christopher Walken
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
This is not lite reading, but it is light reading, ha ha. The detailed evidences for the restoration go on and on. We don't want to forget, the one on one revelation the Lord promises us if we qualify for it(explained in scripture), but amazing physical evidences are also everywhere throughout the scriptures, and other related sources.
Josephβs lucky βGuessβ From the Book of Moses (About Enochβs Pal, Mahujah) Not lucky, but revelation!
"If Joseph Smith is simply drawing off of what he could learn from his KJV Bible, Mahijah should not exist in the Book of Moses (because it doesnβt exist in the Bible). And, technically, youβd expect Mahujah only to show up in the form expressed in the Bible: Mehujael.
And yet, the fact remains that both of the names Joseph uses in the Book of Moses are found in authentic biblical texts Joseph would have had no access to. Either Joseph was an unbelievably lucky fraud, or he was a prophet of God."
Bonus bit
Biblical text is not the only place we find the character Mahujah. He also makes an appearance in the pseudepigraphal Book of Giants in the form of Mahway or Mahaway. Again, Mahway may appear quite different from Mahujah, but they are both acceptable forms of the same Hebrew names. Not only does Mahujah show up in Book of Giants, but the role Mahujah plays in both stories (as one who questions Enoch) is also similar. This is a role not described in any biblical or apocryphal work available to Joseph Smith at the time. Book of Giants only strengthens Josephβs prophetic claims.https://thirdhour.org/blog/faith/script ... h-mahujah/
Enochβs Encounters with the Gibborim
The Book of Giants is a collection of fragments from an Enochic book discovered at Qumran. Though it is missing from the Ethiopic book of 1 Enoch1β and resembles little else in [Page 30]the Enoch tradition, material related to the Book of Giants is included in Talmudic and medieval Jewish literature, in descriptions of the Manichaean canon,2 in citations by hostile heresiologists, and in third and fourth century fragments from Turfan published by Henning in 1943.3 Later, several fragments of a related work were identified among the Qumran manuscripts.
...out of nowhere, appears Mahijah, the only named character besides Enoch himself in Joseph Smithβs story of Enoch: βAnd there came a man unto him, whose name was Mahija
... keep reading on reddit β‘Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
And now Iβm cannelloni
